IJMC - New Viruses

I had thought I'd sent this out...but perhaps I didn't. I can't find it 
in the archives, so I'm assuming I've just seen it several times and not 
shared it with all of you. Now I am. Remember, drink lots of fluids, keep 
warm, and don't swap spit with anyone who has one of these.         -dave







New computer viruses 

  Ellen Degeneres virus - Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.

  Monica Lewinsky virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer.

  Titanic virus - Makes your whole computer go down.

  Disney virus - Everything in the computer goes Goofy.

  Mike Tyson virus - Quits after one byte.

  Prozac virus - Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.

  Sharon Stone virus - Makes a huge initial impact, then you forget it's
  there.

  Lorena Bobbit virus - Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.

  Tim Allen virus - Appears helpful, only to destroy your hard drive
  upon contact.

  Woody Allen virus - Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter
  card.

  Saddam Hussein virus - Won't let you into any of your programs

  Tonya Harding virus - Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons

  George Michaels virus - Runs its course, occasionally releasing excess
  data buildup

  Joey Buttafuoco virus..............Only attacks minor files

  X-files virus..............................All your Icons start
  shapeshifting

  Spice Girl virus.........................Has no real function, but
  Makes a pretty desktop

  Ronald Reagan virus................Saves your data, but forgets where
  it is stored

  Dr. Jack Kevorkian virus...........Searches your hard drive for old
  files and deletes them

  Sony Bono virus......................Just when you get surfing the
  web, a firewall appears out of nowhere

  Martha Stewart virus...............Takes all your files, sorts them by
  category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on
  your desktop

  Oprah Winfrey virus................Your 200MB hard drive suddenly
  shrinks to 80MB,and then slowly expands to 300MB

  AT&T virus..............................Every 3 minutes it tells you
  what great service you are getting

  MCI virus................................Every 3 minutes it reminds
  you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus

  Arnold Schwarzenegger virus.....................Terminates and stays
  resident.  It'll be back