IJMC - The End of the Oscars?

Well, maybe not, but perhaps the last joke about these previous oscars at 
least. Anyway, the connection is slipping so I'm cutting this short...but 
I'll have an announcement pretty soon...tomorrow hopefully. Pray for good 
internet weather, will ya?                                          -dave







The Top 16 Little-Known Oscar Nominations  
  
16. Best Imitation of Acting by a Bad Martial Artist  -- Steven Seagal
  
15. Best Grip -- Monica Lewinsky  
  
14. Breast Supporting Actress -- Demi Moore  
  
13. Actor Slammed Most Often in a Top 5 List -- Pauly Shore
  
12. Largest Ego Squeezed Onto a Movie Set -- Val Kilmer  
  
11. Best Animated Film With No Plans for a Subsequent National 
    Tour With "On Ice" After Its Name -- no nominations this year  
  
10. Best Use of Erect Nipples in a Feature Length Film to Draw
    Attention from Face -- Helen Hunt, "As Good As It Gets"  
  
 9. Best Performance by a Baldwin or Wayans -- Alec (again)
  
 8. Best Performance in a Romance -- Pamela Anderson Lee; 
    Best Animated Long Feature -- Tommy Lee  
  
 7. Best Performance by a Frosty Bobbing Cadaver 
    -- Colin Winthorpe, "Titanic"  
  
 6. Best Occupation for Your Character When Playing Opposite a 
    Babe -- Leonardo DiCaprio's nude sketch artist, "Titanic"
  
 5. Fastest to be Dumped When Boyfriend Reached Stardom 
    -- Minnie Driver, by Matt Damon  
  
 4. Most Thorough Research by an Actor Who May Someday Play 
    a Cowering Pretty-Boy Cellmate -- Robert Downey, Jr.  
  
 3. Special "American Gigolo" Award -- James Brolin  
  
 2. Vocal Performance from a Movie Soundtrack That Most Makes 
    One Envious of Those Who Drowned in the Film Because They 
    Never Had to Hear This Overdramatic Crap Over and Over 
    -- Celine Dion, "Titanic" 
  
    and the Number 1 Little-Known Oscar Nomination...  
  
 1. Fullest Monty -- Dirk Diggler, "Boogie Nights"  


  _________________________________________________________________
 /                                                                 \
|  Glen Gordon                              770-667-5509 ext. 3456  |
|  gleng@executrain.com                   1-800-437-2034 ext. 3456  |
|     "Don't anthropomorphize computers. They don't like it!"       |
 \_________________________________________________________________/