IJMC - 40 Bumper Stickers

So quite a few of these have seen the light of day through these here
posts before. Quite a few have not though. So to be fair, to give equal
time, here is a collection of some old and some new. You can show some of
them all of the time and all of them some of the time but fortunately we
will not try to show all of them all of the time. For some reason, I do
not think anyone would stick around if I sent the same forty "bumper
stickers" every single day. Call me crazy, I know.                  -dave



 
 40 BUMPER STICKERS:

 1) The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

 2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

 3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!

 4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them

 5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

 6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.

 7) WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

 8) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

 9) BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

10) I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.

11) So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute!

12) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

13) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

14) To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

15) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

16) My kid had sex with your honor student.

17) Earth first...we'll mind the other planets later.

18) I'm just driving this way to piss you off.

19) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

20) As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

21) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.

22) I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car.

23) God must love stupid people, he made so many.

24) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

25) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

27) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

28) It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

29) Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

30) I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

31) Elvis is dead, and I'm not feeling too good myself.

32) Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

33) Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

34) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

35) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

36) CAT : The Other White Meat!

37) Beer : The Reason I. Get Up Each Afternoon!

38) I'm Out Of Bed And Dressed; What More Do you want?

39) Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never
cease to be amused

40) Oxymoron: Jesse Helms Freeway