IJMC - Ahh, Sweet Oregon

Ok, another regional piece, although quite a different region than
Atlanta. One of my favorite ex-girlfriends is now married and living in
Oregon with her husband. Some of the things she has told me ring true in
the following words. True, they probably apply to half a dozen different
locations, but at least I have some reason to think so for now.    -dave






You know you're in Central OREGON, when:


The wind is faster than your truck!

You own more than four pairs of gloves

Every other vehicle is a 4x4

The sun goes down, you start looking for your coat.

In March your vehicle is 43% mud.

You leave your keys in your car and the next morning it's still there.

You installed your new computer using a Leatherman tool.

Wolves are naturally free and house cats are on a leash.

You hear the words "stream" or "brook" pronounced "crick".

The elevation exceeds the population.

Monday night football starts at 7:00, instead of 9:00.

You've broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help
you.........and you TRUST them!

Drive by shootings only happen on the evening news, in big cities.

They aren't kidding when then say "No services next 74 miles."

Your central heating system is fueled by large logs.

You can see the stars at night.

People drive 200+ miles to shop in a real mall.

Your great grandmother is older than the courthouse.

You got a set of new snow tires for Valentine's Day.

Your minister shows up Sunday morning wearing Carhartt bib overalls.

More than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is Elk.

The term "wind chill factor" is part of daily vocabulary.

The bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house.

You only paid $5.00 to cut your own Douglas Fir Christmas tree.

Your backyard smells like sage brush.

Networking is meeting your neighbor on a dirt road in your pickups.

You put on a pair of snowboots to get the morning paper.

You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.

A girls' basketball game fills the school gym.

You put the car heater on your list of best friends.

You slept through the night unawakened by a siren......or a train!

You recognize names from the next town 50 miles away's newspaper.

A rodeo is more popular than a Madonna concert.

You only own three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.

You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for deer meat.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.

You think everyone from the city has an accent.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8
buttons.

When the University play a game at home, the stadium is the 6th largest
city in the state.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page,
but required 6 pages for sports.

At least once a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on
your deck.

The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.

There is only one shopping plaza in town.

The major parish fundraiser isn't bingo-its sausage making.

You find - 40C a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and
your Sorrels.

You can play road hockey on skates.

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

You know the 4 seasons are: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and
Mosquitoes.