IJMC - All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned From Mom

As American as Mom, baseball, and apple pie. Just processed and edited in
France. Ok, I had to say that. I am really having a good time backpacking
across Europe. There is so much to see here. I wish I could take similar
trips later on other continents, but for now I will just have to suffice
with a guided tour I will take through Thailand next year...sheesh, you
could not really even backpack across my own country, America. Lessee, we
miss the great train service, the cheap hostels, the good and cheap food
on so many street corners...maybe I should move to Europe? Well, I think
for now I will just finish this and head on...take care all!        -dave




My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to
kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm
going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
case you're in an accident.

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and I'll give you something to
cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and
eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you just look at the dirt
on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there 'till all that
spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept
through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I
saw a meteor coming toward you would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told
you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your
father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world,
and I can take you out."

THANKS, MOM!