IJMC - Another Teddy Bear Joke

For one of the rare occasions in my life, I have very little to say right 
now. So I will be quiet.                                            -dave









One evening, a gentleman checked into a hotel.  He had been travelling for
days, and was tired.  After filling out the registration forms, he was
handed the key to a room on the 21st floor, which happened to be the only
availble room. 

As the gentleman (let's call him Fred), as Fred was about to retire to his
room, the desk clerk said "Sir, I feel I must mention something about your
room.  Inside, you will find a teddy bear.  Please, I beg you don't touch
this teddy bear."  Fred turns away, and heads toward the elevator.  "Oh,
and the elevator isn't working," he hears the clerk say.  The clerk then
turns back to his work. 

Fred, resigned to his fate, heads towards the stairwell.  With his
suitcase, he begins to climb - up the stairs, and around the corner, up
the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner,
up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the
corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around
the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and
around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs,
and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the
stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, and
then suddenly at the seventh floor the stairs stop.  In front of him is a
forest, with lush, thick undergrowth that he can't walk through. 

Confused, Fred turns around and begins to walk down the stairs, and around
the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, and back to the reception desk. 

To the desk clerk, Fred says "I was walking up to my room, but at the
seventh floor I can't walk any further.  Is there another way to my room?" 

"No, sir," says the desk clerk, "All you have to do is press the green
button on the right.  And don't touch the teddy bear." He then goes back
to his work. 

So once again, Fred begins the long walk up to his room.  Up the stairs,
and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the
stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up
the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner,
up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the
corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around
the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and
around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs,
and around the corner, and then at the seventh floor, Fred presses the
green button on the right. 

Out of nowhere, a set of monkey bars appear for him to cross the forest,
with a hook for his suitcase.  And so Fred begins to clamber his way
across the forest.  At the other side the stairs begin again. 

Up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the
corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around
the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and
around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs,
and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the
stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up
the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner,
up the stairs, and around the corner, and then, at the fourteenth floor,
there is a giant lake.  Fred, not willing to walk down the stairs, looks
for a green button on the right.  There isn't one. 

So with a sigh, Fred turns around and begins to walk down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner back to the forest, where
he presses the green button on the right, swings across the forest and
then once again heads down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner to the reception desk. 

"Excuse me, again," says Fred to the desk clerk.  "I've made it past the
forest, but on the fourteenth floor there is a lake.  I looked for the
green button on the right, but it wasn't there.  What do I do?" 

The desk clerk looks up, and gives Fred a smile reserved for those
customers who are beginning to try his patience, and says "Press the blue
button on the left sir.  And don't touch the teddy bear." and goes back to
work. 

Once again, with suitcase in hand, Fred goes up the stairs, and around the
corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around
the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and
around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs,
and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the
stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up
the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner,
up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the
corner, and then at the seventh floor, Fred presses the green button on
the right, swings across the forest and then up the stairs, and around the
corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around
the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and
around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs,
and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the
stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up
the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner,
up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner
to the fourteenth floor. 

Fred presses the blue button on the left, and a row boat appears.  So Fred
rows across the lake, with Row, Row your boat playing on musak.  On the
other side the stairs continue, so Fred walks up the stairs, and around
the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and
around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs,
and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the
stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up
the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the corner,
up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around the
corner, up the stairs, and around the corner, up the stairs, and around
the corner and then he is at the twenty-first floor, and his room. 

Tired to the point of exhaustion, he drops his suitcase and lies down on
the bed.  After a brief nap, Fred wakes up and decided to watch some TV. 
Looking around he spies the remote sitting under a big, brown, fluffy
teddy bear.  Not remembering the clerk's warnings, Fred picks up the bear,
takes the remote control and starts to flick through the channels. 
 
Just settling in, Fred notices some movement in the corner of the room
where the teddy bear is.  He wasn't too concerned at first, figuring it's
because of the light from the television.  Then he heard the growling. 
The teddy bear was waking up. 

The bear looks around the room and spies Fred, sitting in an armchair in
front of the television.  With a menacing look (can teddy bears have
menacing looks?) the bear begins to approach Fred.  Having seen enough
B-grade horror movies, Fred realises that this is not good, and moves away
from the teddy bear. 

All of a sudden, the bear goes wild.  It starts tearing down wallpaper,
destroying furniture, throwing chairs through windows.  Fred decides
rather quickly, that he doesn't want to stick around for any encore
performances that this bear may do, runs for the door.  The bear follows. 

Not even willing to bother with the elevator, Fred heads towards the
stairwell and begins the journey down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, to the lake.  He presses the blue button on
the left, gets in the boat and rows to the other side (row, row, row your
boat, gently down the stream), gets out and goes down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, to the forest, where he
pressed the green button on the right and climbs across the forest on the
monkey bars.  He then goes down the stairs, and around the corner, down
the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the
stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the corner,
down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and around the
corner, down the stairs, and around the corner, down the stairs, and
around the corner, to the reception area.  All the time he can hear the
teddy bear right behind him. 

Fred isn't sure what this bear will do, so he runs outside, and right
behind him is the teddy bear, going wild - tearing up furnishings,
knocking over other customers, in it's crazed state and haste to get to
Fred.  Fred knows that his car has been parked, and not wanting to wait
for the valet, jumps into a cab that was about to drive away.  He yells at
the driver to get him as far away as he can in the quickest amount of time
possible, but it was too late. 

The teddy bear jumps onto the taxi, and literally pulls the roof off.  The
bear ignores the driver, and turns to Fred who is cowering in the back
seat.  Slowly, the teddy bear extends his paw towards Fred, who tries to
shrink lower into the seat, away from the crazed stuffed toy. 

The paw comes closer, Fred tries harder to pull away. 

The paw still comes closer, and closer, and closer.  Fred can't move any
further away, so he just awaits what he is sure to be his doom. 

The paw touches his shoulder, and Fred, cowering in the back seat of a
taxi hears a voice. 

The voice of the teddy bear. 

It says.... 

..."You're it."