IJMC - Where There is a Will, There is a Way

Ahh, not quite going back to the sort of stuff we used to send out, back 
in the day, but a little closer than I have used in a long time. If you 
have no clue what I am talking about, and are brave of heart, strong of 
will, and stout of mind, then go check out some of the "Little Orphan 
Annie" page on the website...                                      -dave






THE WILL....

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist
she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared.  The
receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time
for the spinster to come into the office. 

The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I
rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out.  Would it be possible for
the lawyer to come to my house?" 

The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the
spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.  The
lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in
assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?" 

She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have
$40,000 in my savings account at the bank." 

"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to be
distributed?" 

The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life,
people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I pass
on. I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral." 

The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a funeral
that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on
anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But tell me," he
continued, "what would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?" 

The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've lived alone
almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a man.  Before I
die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with
me." 

"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but I'll see
what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."  That evening, the
lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her
weird request.  After thinking about how much she could do around the
house with $5,000, and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree
to provide the service himself. 

She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car until
you're finished." The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house
and waited while he went into the house.  She waited for over an hour, but
her husband didn't come out. So she blew the car horn. 

Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head out
and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow!  She's going to let the County bury
her!"