IJMC - First Comes LOVE...

...then comes marriage, then comes tech support for the baby carriage. 
Sort of. I suppose I do not actually have anything about tech support for 
babies although there is an old post I could resend just to complete the 
trend...although the way this country seems to feel, something on 
adultery or betrayal or disillusionment might be more appropriate. Ooh, 
too early in the morning to come across so bitter...fortunately, I do 
know several couples who are very happy with their marriages. Which is 
all good.                                                           -dave



MEMO To Technical Support:
Subject: Upgrades

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Poker-night 10.3, Boys Night
2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever
selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while
attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking
about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this
program. 

Can you help me, please? Otherwise, I'm screwed.

Thanks Joe



> > >Dear Joe Screwed:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT"
program. 

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. 

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back
to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause
Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible
to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife1.0 is not
designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0
but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your
manual under "Warnings - Alimony /Child Support." 

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having
Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of
their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.  In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as
long as you take responsibility for all the GPFs. 

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. Recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. 

Do not, under any circumstances, install Short Skirt Secretary 3.3. This
is not a supported application for Wife 1.0, and is likely to cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.