IJMC - Tech Support For LOVE

Of course, this is only the primer, the installation guide. Once you 
manage to install LOVE you are entirely on your own...although I am told 
there are many newsgroups, FAQs, HOW-TOs, and chat rooms dedicated to the 
topic. You will have to figure out those on your own.               -dave

P.S. If you figure them out, do me a favor, clue me in...I need the help.





 INSTALLING LOVE

Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE? 

Customer:  I can do that.  I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready
to install now.  What do I do first? 

CS Rep:  The first step is to open your HEART.  Have you located your
HEART ma'am? 

Customer:  Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now.
Is it okay to install while they are running? 

CS Rep:  What programs are running ma'am?

Customer:  Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE,
and RESENTMENT.COM running right now. 

CS Rep:  No problem.  LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your
current operating system.  It may remain in your permanent memory, but it
will no longer disrupt other programs.  LOVE will eventually overwrite
LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you
have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs
prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am? 

Customer:  I don't know how to turn them off.  Can you tell me how?

CS Rep:  My pleasure.  Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM
have been completely erased. 

Customer:  Okay, I'm done.  LOVE has started installing itself
automatically.  Is that normal? 

CS Rep:  Yes it is.  You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART.  Do you see that message? 

Customer:  Yes I do.  Is it completely installed? 

CS Rep:  Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need
to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades. 

Customer:  Oops...I have an error message already.  What should I do? 

CS Rep:  What does the message say?

Customer:  It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS".
What does that mean? 

CS Rep:  Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.  It means that the
LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run
on your HEART.  It is one of those complicated programming things, but In
non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it
can "LOVE" others. 

Customer:  So what should I do?

CS Rep:  Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer:  Yes, I have it.

CS Rep:  Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer:  Thank you.

CS Rep:  You're welcome.  Click on the following files and then copy them
to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT,
REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC.  The system will overwrite any
conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming.  Also, you
need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your
recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes
back. 

Customer:  Got it.  Hey!  My HEART is filling up with really neat files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM,
PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART! 

CS Rep:  Then LOVE is installed and running.  You should be able to handle
it from here.  One more thing before I go... 

Customer:  Yes?

CS Rep:  LOVE is freeware.  Be sure to give it and its various modules to
everybody you meet.  They will in turn share it with other people and they
will return some really neat modules back to you. 

Customer:  I will.  Thank you for your help.