IJMC Button Up!

                         IJMC - Button Up!

Ok, so I planned to double up and then missed a day. Oops. I guess I'll 
just be doubling up a lot after I get back...or maybe I'll do an extra 
set today sometime midday or something. We'll see. First I'll have to 
regain consciousness...                                           -dave

Sayings that should be on buttons

  1.. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  2.. Make yourself at home!  Clean my kitchen.
  3.. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
  4.. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
  5.. Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
  6.. Do I look like a freaking people person?
  7.. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  8.. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
  9.. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
 10.. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
 11.. You! Off my planet!
 12.. Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
 13.. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
 14.. Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
 15.. I like cats, too. Let's exchange recipes.
 16.. Friendly checkout clerk. Thanks for keeping me that way!
 17.. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on
      my cat.
 18.. Does your train of thought have a caboose?
 19.. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
 20.. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
 21.. Let me show you how the guards used to do it.
 22.. And just how may I screw you over today?
 23.. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?
 24.. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
 25.. If only you'd use your powers for good instead of evil...
 26.. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
 27.. A PBS mind in an MTV world.
 28.. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
 29.. Allow me to introduce my selves.
 30.. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
 31.. Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
 32.. Better living through denial.
 33.. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
 34.. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after 
 35.. Adult child of alien invaders.
 36.. Do they ever shut up on your planet?
 37.. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
 38.. Meandering to a different drummer.
 39.. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
 40.. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
 41.. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
 42.. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't
      fallen asleep yet.
 43.. Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
 44.. Back off! You're standing in my aura.
 45.. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
 46.. Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
 47.. Adults are just kids who owe money.
 48.. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
 49.. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
 50.. I have a computer, a remote, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave
      the house?
 51.. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
 52.. I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
 53.. I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
 54.. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
 55.. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
 56.. Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong.
 57.. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
 58.. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
 59.. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
 60.. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
 61.. And which dwarf are you?
 62.. Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
 63.. Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside
      the earth.
 64.. Earth is full. Go home.
 65.. Is it time for your medication or mine?
 66.. I plead contemporary insanity.

IJMC May 1999 Archives