IJMC - Perhaps A Dupe?

Ladies and gentlemen, I have to tell you, Yo-Yo Ma is incredible. I just 
returned from two hours of his talented playing of the cello and I am 
still amazed. The energy, intensity, and feeling he puts into his music 
is incompariable to anyone I've had the pleasure of hearing before. We're 
talking a wonderful way to end a very enjoyable journey into my 
twenty-fifth year. That concert was a birthday present to me and I must 
say, I have had few that compared. I wanted to share that with all of 
you; find what makes you really happy, and indulge during special 
moments. I bet you like what you end up with. I have.               -dave


 In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are
 some reportedly true label instructions on consumer goods:
 
 On Sears hair dryer:
 Do not use while sleeping.
 
 On a bag of Fritos:
 You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. 
 
 On a bar of Dial soap:
 Directions: Use like regular soap. 
 
 Some Swanson frozen dinners:
 Serving suggestion: Defrost.
 
 On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: 
 Fits one head.
 
 On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
 Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) 
 
 On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: 
 Product will be hot after heating
 
 On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: 
 Do not iron clothes on body
 
 On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine 
 Do not drive car or operate machinery 
 
 On Nytol (a sleep aid):
 Warning: may cause drowsiness
 
 On a Korean kitchen knife:
 Warning keep out of children
 
 On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: 
 For indoor or outdoor use only.
 
 On a Japanese food processor:
 Not to be used for the other use
 
 On Sainsbury's Peanuts
 Warning: contains nuts
 
 On an American Airlines packet of nuts: 
 Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
 
 On a Swedish chain saw:
 Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
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