IJMC - The Revenge of the Internet Urban Legend

Awh man, this one's almost got it all. But my contact lenses are bugging 
me right now so I'm just going to send this off and let you all read it 
for yourselves...it's a keeper, if you've been on the net a while. -dave








I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
finding a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.  One day he went
to sleep, and when he awoke he was in his bathtub, and it was full of
ice, and he was sore all over.  When he got out of the tub he realized
that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that
said "Call 911!"  But he was afraid to use his phone, because it was
connected to his computer, and there was a virus on his computer that
would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the
crew!"   He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer
programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when
the year 2000 rolls around.  His program will prevent a global disaster
in which all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman
Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.  (It's true --
I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who
was also promising me a free Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would
forward the e-mail to everyone I know.)  The poor man then tried to call
911 from a pay phone to report his missing kidneys, but reaching into
the coin return slot he got jabbed with an HIV infected needle around
which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-- the one, in fact,
where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish
is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the American
Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he
receives.  I sent him two emails and one of them was a bunch of x's and
o's in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty
people you will have good luck, but ten people you will only have OK
luck, and if you send it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK
FOR SEVEN YEARS).  So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the
hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along without
his lights on.  To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was
promptly shot as part of a gang initiation.

   And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark
Ages.