IJMC - Mr. Right Rejection Letter: Star Wars Nut

I said if I received more, I would send them out. So, for all you Star 
Wars freaks out there, I have two things to say to you. First, enjoy 
this, it may help you. Second, please refrain from telling me anything 
about the new Star Wars movie coming up. I already know I want to see it, 
and nothing you can tell me could help. My desire is to go into the movie 
knowing as little as possible to increase my chance of being blown away 
by it. The more I am told, the more I will expect...bad mojo. That said, 
read on!                                                            -dave

P.S. I'm told that the College post is a Dave Berry special...sorry Dave.




Mr. Right Rejection Letter Form number 2 (The star wars nut)

Dear (___rejectee's name here____)

I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
contention as my Mr. Right.

As you are probably aware, the competition 'was exceedingly tough and
dozens of well-qualified candidates such as yourself also failed to make
the final cut. I will, however, keep your name on file should an opening
become available. So that you may find better success in your future
romantic endeavors, please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you
were disqualified from the competition: 

[Check all those that apply]

 ___ Your star wars model collection doesn't fit in your apartment.

 ___ You feel your ability to speak fluent wookie makes you bilingual.

 ___ The fact that our finest dining experience was at Jaba the Pizza 
     Hut had an adverse affect on me.

 ___ The fact that you refer to it as "your lightsaber"

 ___ You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions      
     about yourself and all you did was talk about how the rebels could 
     have saved hoth.

 ___ You wear your Chewbacca and Greedo masks far to often.

 ___ Your "Putting on a few, aren't you Jaba?" comment was      
     inappropriate. (had to leave this one)
     
 ___ You have almost no money, and that which you have you refuse to 
     spend, because you "have to save for that Millenium falcon replica"

 ___ I find your inability to fix anything but Fictional space ship 
     damage unapealing.

 ___ The fact that your apartment is a complete replica of the death 
     star control room scares me

 ___ The phrase "Luke, I am your father" pops up to often

 ___ You spend weekends at star wars bazzars and your obssesion with 
     problems in the movies are negatives.

 ___ Your claim your ex-girlfriend was princess leia.

 ___ Your gift of a collectors edition leia hair bun kit shows you
     have no idea about style.

 ___ Three final words Mark Hammil Sucks


        Sincerely,

     [Your name here]