IJMC Desperately Seeking Schmoozing

                 IJMC - Desperately Seeking Schmoozing

Or perhaps my second favorite...I can dream, can't I? Ahh, another day,
another dollar. But no lasagna. I forgot the lasagna. Next week will be
the big one for the lasagna.  Granted, I did have really good lasagna last
night, so maybe that will tide me over til next week...              -dave

P.S. Euro-techno rocks...like, really cool. Boppin to da beat on da seat..





ACTUAL PERSONALS FROM ISRAELI NEWSPAPER

------------------------------------------------------------------------

ATTRACTIVE JEWISH WOMEN, 35, COLLEGE GRADUATE, SEEKS SUCCESSFUL JEWISH
PRINCE CHARMING TO GET ME OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE........ 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

SHUL GABBAI, 36, I TAKE OUT THE TORAH SATURDAY MORNING AND I WOULD LIKE TO
TAKE YOU OUT SATURDAY NITE....PLEASE WRITE!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

COUCH POTATO LATKE, IN SEARCH OF THE RIGHT APPLESAUSE. LET'S TRY IT FOR
EIGHT DAYS. WHO KNOWS ??????????? 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

DIVORCED JEWISH MAN, SEEKS PARTNER TO ATTEND SHUL WITH, LIGHT SHABOS
CANDLES, CELEBRATE HOLIDAYS, BUILD SUKKAH TOGETHER, ATTEND BRISSES,
BAR-MITZVAHS......RELIGION NOT IMPORTANT !!!!!!! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

ORTHODOX WOMAN WITH GET, SEEKS MAN WHO GOT GET.....GET IT???

I'LL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS

------------------------------------------------------------------------

YESHIVA BOCHUR, TORAH SCHOLAR, LONG BEARD, PAYOS, SEEKS SAME IN WOMAN

------------------------------------------------------------------------

WORRIED ABOUT IN-LAW MEDDING ?? 

I'M AN ORPHAN !!!!!  WRITE SOON !! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

NICE JEWISH GUY, 38, NO SKELETONS.. NO BAGGAGE..  NO PERSONALITY

------------------------------------------------------------------------

FEMALE GRADUATE STUDENT, STUDYING KABALLAH, ZOHAR, EXORCISM OF DYBBUKS,
SEEKS MENSCH......  NO WEIRDO'S PLEASE !!!!!! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

STAUNCH JEWISH FEMINIST, WEARS TZITZIS, SEEKING MALE WHO WILL ACCEPT MY
INDEPENDENCE, ALTHOUGH YOU PROBABLY WILL NOT.....  OH, JUST FORGET
IT.......... 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

JEWISH BUSINESS MAN, 49, MANUFACTURES SABBATH CANDLES, CHANUKAH CANDLES,
HAVDALLAH CANDLES, YAHRZEIT CANDLES SEEKS NON-SMOKER.. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

ISRAELI PROFESSOR, 41, WITH 18 YEARS OF TEACHING IN MY BEHIND.....LOOKING
FOR AMERICAN - BORN WOMAN WHO SPEAKS ENGLISH, VERY GOOD

------------------------------------------------------------------------

80 YEAR OLD BUBBY, NO ASSETS, SEEKS HANDSOME, VIRILE JEWISH MALE, UNDER
35........ OBJECT MATRIMONY.........I CAN DREAM, CANT I ?????? 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I AM A SENSITIVE JEWISH PRINCE WHOM YOU CAN OPEN YOUR YOUR HEART TO SHARE
YOUR MOST INNERMOST THOUGHTS AND DEEPEST SECRETS....CONFIDE IN ME .. I'LL
UNDERSTAND YOUR INSECURITIES....NO FATTIES, PLEASE

------------------------------------------------------------------------

JEWISH MALE, 34, VERY SUCCESSFUL, SMART, INDEPENDENT, SELF - MADE..
LOOKING FOR GIRL WHOSE FATHER WILL HIRE ME..... 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

SINGLE JEWISH WOMAN, 29, INTO DISCO, MOUNTAIN CLIMBING, SKIING, TRACK AND
FIELD....  HAS SLIGHT LIMP

------------------------------------------------------------------------

JEWISH PRINCESS, 28, SEEKS SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN OF ANY MAJOR JEWISH
DENOMINATION :  HUNDREDS, FIFTIES, TWENTIES....... 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

DESPERATELY SEEKING SCHMOOZING !!! RETIRED SENIOR CITIZEN DESIRES FEMALE
COMPANION 70 + FOR KVETCHING, KVELLING, AND KRECHTZING. UNDER 30 IS ALSO
O.K.  !!!!!!!!!!!!! 



IJMC December 1999 Archives