IJMC - I Am Not Even Going To Talk About This Kind of Deluge

Perhaps the subject matter is a little, shall I say, risque for what I 
normally send out...yet I think the payoff is worth it in the end, so if 
you can handle slightly lewd humor, then read on. If lewd material is not 
your piece of pie, then just skip this one and let the rest fill you mind 
with cleaner fun...                                                 -dave






The greatest come back line ever..

Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27 year old white male, resident of
Wimbledon, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday.  Davidson will be charged
with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public
intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. 

The suspect allegedly stated that as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he
decided to stop.  "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and
there was no one around here for miles.  At least I thought there wasn't,"
he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. 

Davidson went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a
hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need". 

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment. 

In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon
Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until
officer Brenda Taylor approached him.  "It was an unusual situation,
that's for sure."  said officer Taylor.  "I walked up to (Davidson) and
he's..just working away at this pumpkin." 

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Davidson. I
just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are
screwing a pumpkin?'

He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the
face and said, 'A pumpkin?  Damn.. is it midnight already?"