IJMC Turkey Tricks, Times Two

                   IJMC - Turkey Tricks, Times Two

You know, I'll bet there's a statistic out there somewhere that says 
Thanksgiving day is the biggest day for Pepto-Dismal sales. Remember that 
when you go back for thirds and dessert is yet to come!             -dave








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THINGS TO DO TO LIVEN UP THANKSGIVING DINNER
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1. Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it
all in the blender, and take your "shake" back to the table.
Announce that It's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake

2. When everyone goes around to say what they are Thankful for,
say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught." and refuse to say anything more

3. Bring along old recorded football games, pop them in the VCR
when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two
minutes of the game When he comes into the room, turn off the
VCR and turn on the regular TV

4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive
conditions known to exist at turkey farms.

5. During Mid-meal turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they
wouldn't notice that the Turkey was past expiration date.
You were worried for nothing".



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TRUE STORIES FROM THE BUTTERBALL Turkey Hotline,
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where people call to get advice
how to cook a Turkey from the experts

* Thanksgiving Dinner on the run. A woman called 1-800-323-4848 to
find out how long it would take to roast her turkey. To answer
the question, the Talk-Line home economist asked how much the
bird weighed. The woman responded, "I don't know, it's still
running around outside."

* Tofu turkey? No matter how you slice it, Thanksgiving just isn't
Thanksgiving without turkey. A restaurant owner in California
wanted to know how to roast a turkey for a vegetarian menu

* Then there's the time a lady was picking through the frozen
turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough
for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get
any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


IJMC November 1998 Archives