IJMC - Naked Dancing Llama
I think all of us on the IJMC should pitch in and buy this guy an actual
llama. Of course, there's probably a law against that...hmm, someone
wanna check that out for me before I start collecting dough? No? Oh well,
just read and enjoy. On another track, I'm starting back into regular
exercise, and I'm taking the International Junk Mail Clearinghouse along
for the ride. Every Monday I'm going to put a little number one line down
on the left side of the page...that'll be (is? was?) my current weight in
pounds...kilograms makes me feel even worse! My hope is that if it ever
goes up from one week to the next (holidays excluded) then you kind
folks will send me somewhere around a thousand e-mails telling me in all
sorts of ways that I need to do better. Think you all can handle that?
Not that I'm planning on needing it... -dave
214
Naked Dancing Llama (tm): The Official NDL FAQ
Version 2.0
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Post it anywhere and everywhere! Forward it to your friends!Post
it on Usenet! (preferably news.answers, alt.fan.naked.dancing.llama,
alt.humor) Get the word out! No one should be kept from llama wisdom.
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(C)1997 Christopher Feyrer http://www.frolic.org
cfeyrer@execpc.com
Yes. This is all my fault.
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THE MORE YOU PARTICIPATE, THE MORE WILL LEARN TO FROLIC!
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1. The Naked Dancing Llama
1.1 Who is the Naked Dancing Llama? Why haven't I heard of him
before...or I think I have...it seems strangely familiar...as if
something from a dream...
1.2 So what does he do? Besides frolic.
1.3 Is he famous or something?
1.4 Is it true that the Naked Dancing Llama once ran for President?
1.5 What is FONDL? How do I join? Is it true about the free NDL
t-shirt contest?
1.6 Is it true Naked Dancing Llama has an alt. newsgroup? I can't find
it anywhere!
1.7 What is the Nakedlist?
1.6 What is this about a Naked Dancing Llama theme song?
1.7 Who is Brubby and why does he love me?
2. Llama wisdom
2.1 I long to be filled with llama wisdom. What are some of NDL's most
famous quotes?
2.2 How do I seek advice from the Great Hoofed One as to achieve inner
peace and a feeling of utter tranquility?
2.3 What do I do with this knowledge?
3. NDL's Awards
3.1 Where has NDL been mentioned?
4. NDL T-shirts
4.1 How do I get a Naked Dancing Llama t-shirt?
4.2 What about the Naked Dancing Llama for President shirts?
4.3 Will there be other NDL merchandise?
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1. The Naked Dancing Llama
1.1 Who is the Naked Dancing Llama? Why haven't I heard of him
before...or I think I have...it seems strangely familiar...as if
something from a dream...
Naked Dancing Llama, or NDL to his friends, is the Internet's only
peanut-spitting, tangoing, advice giving llama. Why come to NDL for
advice?
Quoth the llama: "I'm cheaper than psychotherapy. I also lick people's
faces. And, of course, llamas are the keepers of all universal
knowledge."
He can be found at http://www.frolic.org
A DEEPER EXPLANATION:
First of all:
NAKED - YES. NDL is not wearing any clothing. Most llamas don't mention
this. You would not believe the controversy this has caused. How people
muse for hours saying, "Does his fur count?" or, "even if you shaved him,
would he really be naked?", or "Is he naked in the picture where he's
wearing a pair of earphones?" etc. etc.
DANCING- YES. NDL dances. He prefers the tango because of its personal
nature and because he gets to put a rose in his mouth. He also enjoys
doing the llamabada, the forbidden dance of Peru. But not on these
webpages. If you kiss him on the nose in just the right way, however, he
could be pursuaded...
LLAMA - YES. He is a llama. Llamas are gentle, fun creatures who
basically keep to themselves and are happy to live lives providing wool,
living in zoos, sniffing things, and being golf caddies to the rich and
famous.
1.2 So what does he do? Besides frolic.
NDL is on a mission to provide direction for the human race. He does
this through an advice column on the Internet, so the whole world can
learn to frolic like a llama...before it is too late.
1.3 Is he famous or something?
Not on purpose! Although he has won many awards (Point's Top 5% and an
articles in the Milwaukee Journal/Sentinel, Internet Underground, and the
Sacramento Bee) NDL has avoided advertisements on his web page, and
prefers to remain humble and simply dance, dance, dance like a llama
would.
1.4 Is it true that the Naked Dancing Llama once ran for President?
Of course. And he will win, come the year 2000. Every vote counts, and
its never too soon to start campaigning.
1.5 What is FONDL? How do I join? Is it true about the t-shirt contest?
FONDL stands for the Friends of the Naked Dancing Llama. It is NDL's
official fan club, and you can win an NDL T-shirt just for linking and
showing your membership. :) FONDL members are from all religions,
countries, and heritages. All just want to frolic like a llama. Join
today!
1.6 Is it true Naked Dancing Llama has an alt. newsgroup? I can't find
it anywhere!
Well, actually he has two. alt.fan.ndl and alt.fan.naked.dancing.llama.
alt.fan.naked.dancing.llama can be found on DejaNews, and all FONDL
members are encouraged to post there! (www.dejanews.com, search for naked
dancing llama). ALSO: FONDLers are encouraged to write AOL administrators
tear-stained e-mails (if you can pull off that one) begging them to
include alt.fan.naked.dancing.llama as a main newsgroup. Be sure to cite
the following acronym:
AOL = Always Opressing Llamas.
Also be sure to mention NDL is a legitimate entity, and has been in
Point's Top 5% of Web Sites, USA Today, Hot Wired, the Milwaukee/Journal
Sentinel, and elsewhere. (That always gets them to at least look twice
before they click delete.)
1.7 What is the Nakedlist?
Though it may sound naughty, the "Nakedlist" is NDL's main way of
spreading llama wisdom to the Internet. He provides one tried and true
llama saying per week, every Monday. Also, there are mails about updates
to the Naked Dancing Llama homepage, T-shirt information, surveys about
new NDL things, etc. Doesn't spam your mailbox, and you can say you are
on a "Naked list". To subscribe, go to
http://www.frolic.org/nakedlist.html and follow the instructions.
2. Llama wisdom
2.1 I long to be filled with llama wisdom. What are some of NDL's most
famous quotes?
To see NDL's most famous advice, check out http://www.frolic.org/gml.html
His most quoted llama advice is:
"To frolic, like a llama would, is to live."
"Don't lick something unless you really mean it."
"Licking salt is no substitute for a good macadamia."
(Makes a good sig file)
2.2 How do I seek advice from the Great Hoofed One as to achieve inner
peace and a feeling of utter tranquility?
Use the Naked Dancing Question form at
http://www.frolic.org/ndlform.html. He will reply to you in the Naked
Dancing Mailbox. (updated twice monthly) AND subscribe to the Nakedlist!
2.3 What do I do with this knowledge?
Spread llama wisdom wherever you go. Frolic in the streets! Vote NDL
for President! Wear glow in the dark llama shirts. AND MOST OF ALL:
3.1 NDL's Awards
3.1 Where has NDL been mentioned?
Everywhere, but he still needs more exposure! The net works that
way..so be sure to spread the word!
3.2 What's next for NDL?
Well, as NDL would say, "Today the Presidency. Tomorrow, we tango."
4. NDL T-shirts
4.1 How do I get a Naked Dancing Llama t-shirt?
Check out http://www.frolic.org/preorder.html for pictures of the
latest llama shirts, pricing, and ordering information. The current
shirt, a glow in the dark llama head T-shirt, comes in two designs, one
with the "Don't Lick something unless you really mean it." quote, the
other with "Together we shall teach the world to frolic like a llama"
quote. Both cost $20 + $3.50 shipping and handling. (That's what it
costs to glow in the dark :))
4.2 What about the Naked Dancing Llama for President shirts?
They are still around, and are a bit more budget friendly at $16 plus
$3.50 shipping. It's never too early to start campaigning.
4.3 Will there be other NDL merchandise?
Just you wait and see. You ain't seen nothin' yet.
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Well, that about does it.
Thanks for your time, and see you at the llama page, on
alt.fan.naked.dancing.llama, or perhaps, just deep at night when you are
fast asleep.
CJF
Caretaker of the Llama
cfeyrer@execpc.com
http://www.frolic.org/
Personal homepage: http://www.execpc.com/~cfeyrer/
Frolic always.
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