IJMC - Boston Travel Tips

I'm quite tempted to send this one along to my relatives up in Wayland, a 
little suburb of Boston. However, since these driving tips aren't quite 
complete, I think I'll abstain. Two in particular that are missing 
include:


 -- If more than one person is travelling in a car, never assume the one 
at the wheel is actually driving. 

    and,

 -- If you have the chance, drive a 24 ft. truck through the streets of 
Boston. You will notice that the rules do not change even though you 
could flatten anything nearby. And the roads are simply narrower.

  
Well, that's my contribution. I hope your week is progressing well. I 
know mine is so far...                                              -dave

P.S. I actually love Boston...although a lot of that is because it's a 
great place to use a bicycle instead of a car...gotta love the T.





                         DRIVING IN BOSTON
 
The geographical center of Boston is in Roxbury. Due north of the center
we find the South End. This is not to be confused with South Boston, which
lies directly east from the South End. North of the South End is East
Boston and southwest of East Boston is the North End.  Back Bay was filled
in years ago.. 
 
BASIC RULES FOR DRIVING IN BOSTON (Subject to change at any time)

Boston is often acclaimed as the most exciting city in America
in which to drive..

Who would argue?  For newcomers and visitors, here are a few
basic rules of the road for driving in these parts:

 -- To obtain a general idea of how to drive in Boston, go to a Celtics
game and carefully watch the fast break.  Then get behind the wheel of
your car and practice it.. 

 -- Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left
before proceeding.. 

 -- When in doubt, accelerate..

 -- Very generally speaking, the intransigence of the Boston driver is
directly proportional to the expense of his American-made car, and
inversely proportional to the expense of his foreign-made car. But in
applying this formula, bear in mind that they are all more or less
intransigent.. 

 -- When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow traffic coming
from the other direction to pass.. 

 -- Drivers whose cars sport "I Brake For Animals" bumper stickers may
brake for animals, but they may not brake for you. Watch it.. 

 - Teenage drivers believe they are immortal. Don't yield to the
temptation to teach them otherwise.. 

 - Taxicabs should always be given the right of way, unless you are bent
on suicide.. 

 - Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the
wheels of your car.. 

 - The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you
see.. Grab it.. 

 - Learn to swerve abruptly. Boston is the home of slalom driving, thanks
to the Registry of Motor Vehicles, which puts potholes in key locations to
test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.. 

 - Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.. 

 - Double-park in the North End of Boston, unless triple-parking is
available.. 

 -- Always look both ways when running a red light..

 -- While it is possible to fit a 15-foot car into a 15-foot parking
space, it is also possible to fit a 16-foot car into a 15-foot parking
space.. 

 -- There is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in
Boston.. 

 -- Rush 'Hour' generally only lasts from 7am until 8 pm..

 -- It is traditional in Boston to honk your horn at cars that don't move
the instant the light changes.. 

 -- Never put your faith in signs that purport to provide directions..
They are put there to confuse people who don't know their way around the
city as well as to confuse those who do but are detoured by the Big Dig.. 

 -- Use extreme caution when pulling into breakdown lanes. Breakdown lanes
are not for breaking down, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.. 
Breakdown lanes may also end without warning..

 -- Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract
other Boston drivers, who are not used to them.. 

 -- Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals. Boston drivers, unused
to such courtesies, will think you are waving them on to pass you.. 

 -- The yellow light is not, as commonly supposed outside the Boston area,
a signal to slow down. It is a warning to speed up and get through the
intersection before the light turns red.  As a result, yellow lights only
light for a quarter of a second.. 

 -- Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.. 

 - Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. Passing on
sidewalks is also an option.. 

 -- In making a left turn from the right lane, employ the element of
surprise.  That is, do it as suddenly as possible, so as to stun other
drivers.  Crossing entire 4 lane roads in one block always gains the
respect and salutes.. 

 - Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions.. 

 - Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure
inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible.. 

 -- Remember that the goal of every Boston driver is to get there first,
by whatever means necessary.. 

 -- Above all, keep moving!!!!!!!!