IJMC - Beer Quotes

Quick blurb...Michael, the one from Dean Martin must have been in 
knowledge of your exploits...and man, I'm sorry I missed Outback. We must 
do red meat soon...although I guess you have.                       -dave








You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline; it
helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,
but at the very least you need a beer. 
		--Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep
your mouth shut. 
		--Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has
taken out of me. 
		--Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.
		--Plato

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
		--Catherine Zandonella

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
		--W.C. Fields

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
		--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
		--His reply

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
		--David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
		--Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
		--Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
		--Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes
beer shoot out your nose. 
		--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. 
		--Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
		--Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
		--David Moulton

People who drink light beer don't like the taste of beer; they just like
to pee a lot. 
		--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
		--Kaiser Welhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
		--Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen,
for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in
beer. 
		--Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.
		--George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.
		--Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his
fools. 
         	--For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
	        --Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just
do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. 
		--Homer Simpson