IJMC - Pansy's Away

You ever have one of those days where you woke up an hour earlier than 
you needed to and not because you were used to getting up at that time? 
Well, for some reason it happenned to me today and I'm in a grand mood 
for once. Dunno, maybe because it's one work day away from the weekend. I 
dunno, but it's good and I'm going now...                           -dave





  The general was confined to the military hospital for treatment of a
  minor malady.

  For almost a week he made a complete nuisance of himself,
  irritating both staff and the other patients, demanding attention
  and expecting his every order to be followed immediately. He
  was in a six-man ward rather than a private room, his meals
  were too cold or not served to suit his taste, the light needed
  to be adjusted to his demands, the nighttime activities
  interfered with his rest... and on, and on.

  One afternoon an orderly entered the room. "Time to take your
  temperature, General."

  After growling at the orderly, the general opened his mouth to
  accept the thermometer.

  "Sorry, General, but for this test we need your temperature from the 
  other end."

  A whole new barrage of verbal abuse followed, but the orderly
  was insistent that a rectal temperature was what the test called for.

  The general at last rolled over, bared his rear, and allowed
  the orderly to proceed. The orderly then told the general, "Stay
  exactly like that and don't move. I'll be back in five minutes to
  check up on you" and withdrew.

  An hour later, the head nurse entered the room, saw the
  general with his bare rear in the air and gasped, "What's
  going on here?"

  "Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature
  taken?" the general barked.

  "Yes I have, General, but with a daffodil?"