IJMC - A Delayed Post

As mentioned last week, this week is my week off. So last night's post 
became this afternoon's post because I decided to go to bed and sleep 
late! So there! Anyway, it's a good thing, because otherwise you would 
have had to wait until tomorrow to get today's post. It makes sense if 
you know all the details which you don't so don't worry about it and hope 
that I quit real soon now.                                          -dave

P.S. I'm told that they make decaffinated coffees that taste just as good
     as the caffinated kinds...



The European Commission (EC) has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EC rather than German, which
was the other possibility.  As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as
"EuroEnglish":

-- In the first year, "s" will replace the soft
"c"..Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

     The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k".
     This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replased with the "f".  This will make words like
"fotograf" 20% shorter.

     In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always
ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes
of the silent "e"'sin the language is disgraceful, and they should go away.

     By the 4th yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

     During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be  dropd from vords
kontaiining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.

     After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech
ozer.

     ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!