IJMC Yee Haw, Jedi Rednecks!

                       IJMC - Yee Haw, Jedi Rednecks!

I would write more but people are waiting for me to join in a game of 
Duke Nukem 3D. So goodbye.                                      -dave






You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If.......


Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.

You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm
Strawberry Hill

You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.

At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored

There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder

You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok

You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks

You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good
sheets

You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to
spit.

The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookies are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you
didn't have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.

You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a
non-twist-off bottle of beer.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the
dark side...it'll be a hoot."

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock
thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.



IJMC April 1997 Archives