IJMC - Uses for AOL CD-ROMS

You know, AOL actually admitted that their goal is for everyone to have 
three of their startup disks. Regardless of whether the person has a 
computer or even knows what one is, they want them to have at least 3 of 
their disks. And they admitted this. You no longer have to wonder why AOL 
is having trouble keeping customers...they're just dumb. Anyone out there 
want to make a ton of money teaching these morons the wonders of direct 
advertising?                                                        -dave





This is really cool.  I got the permission of the Author.  Included is a 
followup (two posts?  or in one?  your call)


[IJMC note. - the above two lines are from our founder, Michael Ivey.]


Fun Uses for AOL CD-ROMS

From: straight@email.unc.edu (Michael Straight)
Subject: Re: AOL CD rom uses!
Date: 21 Jun 1996 13:44:45 GMT
Organization: University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill

Microwave for 5 seconds and enjoy the show.

Use them to safely view a lunar eclipse (little known fact: lunar eclipses 
can be safely viewed through the hole in the center of a compact disk).

Use a yellow-highliter pen to disable the write-protection and store some 
files on them.

Roll them down the sidewalk.  Use them as frisbees.

Travel back in time and give one to various historical figures and see how
history changes (suggestions: Helen of Troy, William Blake, Louis Pasteur,
Davey Crockett, Joseph Smith (someone may have done this one already),
Grover Cleveland, Winston Churchill, Lon Chaney, Jimi Hendrix, Mel Torme,
Bill Gates (when he was 19), Kibo (when he was 7)). 

Say "lets flip a CD" to settle a dispute.

Stack them on your desk next to your unopened bank statements.  Oops.

Put them down between your driveway and your front door so you don't have 
to step in the mud.

Coasters. Dessert plates (not recommended for ice-cream).

Hang them from the ceiling and call it art.

Repaint them to look like your roommate's CD's and switch them for the 
real things.  Or just glue one to the bottom of one of your roommate's 
favorite CD's.

Give to your 6-year-old sister and say, "Don't you dare eat this!"

Shave your head, hang one CD around your neck by a thread, and go to the 
airport and start handing out the other CDs to passengers as they get off 
their planes.

Play twister.

Decorate the Christmas tree.

Use x CDs to make Elton John eyewear (where x=the number of eyes you have).

Put a pencil through the hole in the center, spin the disk, and tell
people that, according to the Theory of Relativity, the disk is remaining
stationary and the rest of the universe is spinning at a fantastic rate. 
Ask them if they feel dizzy yet. 

Skeet shooting.

Rub two of them together until they erode into nothingness.  Repeat.

Use for bases when playing kickball with neigborhood kids.

Glue them to the ceiling of your bedroom, reflective side out, so you can 
watch yourself sleep.

Swing them from gold chains to hypnotize attractive members of your
favorite gender. 

Use as mirror in your makeup compact.

For disks that aren't completely painted on one side, read people's 
"psychic auras" by looking at them through the CD (not the hole in the 
center).  Charge lots of money to tell people what you see.

String several together and sell as "peekaboo" lingere.  Spam
alt.sex.cd-rom hierarchy to advertize them. 

Two words: Go-cart hubcaps.

Yes, Michael Straight knows this thread is off-topic in your group. Sorry.
FLEOEVDETYHOEUPROEONREWMEILECSOFMOERSGTIRVAENRGEEARDSTVHIESBIITBTLHEEPSRIACYK
Ethical Mirth Gas/"I'm chaste alright."/Magic Hitler Hats/"Hath grace limits?"
"Tight Camel Hairs!"/Chili Hamster Tag/The Gilt Charisma/"I gather this calm."


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From: sjcrisp@unity.ncsu.edu (Steven J. Crisp)
Subject: Re: Fun things to do with CDs you don't want
Date: 7 Jun 1996 18:06:41 GMT
Organization: North Carolina State University

Michael Straight (straight@email.unc.edu) wrote:
: 
: Fun things to do with CD's you don't want...
: 
: Use them to safely view a lunar eclipse (little known fact: lunar eclipses 
: can be safely viewed through the hole in the center of a compact disk).

NO...NO...NO. Don't *ever* do that.

The polycarbonate substrate that is used in CDs is not suitable for 
viewing a lunar eclipse under any circumstances. Sunlight refracted 
through the Earth's atmosphere and then reflected off the Moon - 
particularly at the height of the eclipse - is altered by the water vapor 
in the Earth's atmosphere. (For those with a physics background, their 
spin changes to one-third negative and a charm of two.)

When these photons strike the polycarbonate, the result is a quantum 
reaction within the carbon chains that releases soft X-Rays. Normally, 
these higher-energy photons simply dissipate in the surrounding 
atmosphere, but when focused by the CD center hole, it can lead to 
permanent eye damage.

Again, don't *EVER* use a CD to view a lunar eclipse. If you *must* 
watch, you are much better off using a sheet of film that is constructed 
by fastening cassette tape strips together. And yes, the polyester 
backing on the tape does still produce a fair amount of soft X-Rays, yet the 
magnetic surface successfully absorbs those rays.

The Crisp  

-- 
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   Steve Crisp         The "Who and When" of history are insignificant
  crisp@ncsu.edu         relative to the "How and Why." These in turn
 (Future URL here)        pale in comparison to the "Resulting In."
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