IJMC - Are You Internet Dependent?

Well, I'd have to admit I am. But hey, at least I get paid for it! They 
say you can't make money off of the Internet. I'd have to disagree, I 
make a living off of it! (Don't mind the fact that they people who pay me 
are the same ones asking why they're not making money...but that's not my 
problem...yet.) Day 5 of Headache Dave.                             -dave




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Fifteen symptoms of internet dependency
(JOIN US IN THE WAR ON INTERNET ADDICTION, JUST SAY NO!!)
 
 1. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU CHECKED YOUR E-MAIL TODAY?
 2. HOW OFTEN DO YOU WONDER WHO'S WRITTEN YOU ON E-MAIL?
 3. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ASK OTHER PEOPLE TO USE THEIR TERMINALS TO CHECK
    YOUR E-MAIL?
 4. HOW OFTEN DO YOU ASK PEOPLE TO SEND YOU E-MAIL?
 5. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEND E-MAIL TO SOMEONE WHO LIVES RIGHT NEXT DOOR
    TO YOU?
 6. DO YOU SEARCH YOUR ADDRESS BOOK FOR SOMEONE NEW TO E-MAIL THAT YOU
    BARELY KNOW AT ALL?
 7. DO YOU GET MORE EXCITED WHEN SOMEONE E-MAILS YOU, RATHER THAN
    WRITING A LETTER OR CALLING BY PHONE?
 8. HAVE YOU EVER E-MAILED SOMEONE YOU DON'T KNOW AND HAVE NEVER EVEN
    SEEN BEFORE JUST TO MAKE SOME SMART-ASS COMMENT AND SEE IF YOU GET
    A RESPONSE?
 9. DO YOU SPEND FRIDAY OR SATURDAY NIGHTS IN FRONT OF YOUR COMPUTER
    SCREEN ON E-MAIL OR  THE INTERNET?
10. DO YOU CALL PEOPLE JUST TO GET THEIR E-MAIL ADDRESS AND THEN HANG
    UP ONLY TO E-MAIL THEM IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS?
11. DO YOU HAVE OTHER PEOPLE EMAIL PEOPLE YOU'VE EMAILED JUST TO
    ENCOURAGE THEM TO GET ON THEIR ASSES AND EMAIL YOU BACK?
12. DO YOU WRITE SENSELESS THINGS ON E-MAIL LATE AT NIGHT OR IN THE
    DAY AND SEND THEM TO FRIENDS JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT?
13. DO YOU CALL PEOPLE JUST TO TELL THEM YOU EMAILED THEM, AND THEN
    HANG UP SO THEY CAN READ THEIR EMAIL AND HOPEFULLY RESPOND?
14. DOES EMAIL AND THE INTERNET DISTRACT YOU FROM OBLIGATIONS AND
    TIME SPENT WITH LOVED ONES?
15. DO YOU FIND YOURSELF SITTING IN FRONT OF THE SCREEN WONDERING
    WHAT NEW, SCREWED UP TYPES OF THINGS YOU CAN PUT ON THE INTERNET
    (ie: pictures out of words and punctuation marks, smart ass
    quizzes...such as this one)

        IF YOU ANSWERED POSITIVELY TO ANY OF THESE PROBLEMS, GET YOUR
ASS AWAY FROM THE DAMN COMPUTER SCREEN AND TAKE A LONG WALK!!!  YOU
ARE PATHETIC!!!  YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH THIS WHOLE E-MAIL
THING AND ARE ADDICTED TO MODERN TECHNOLOGY!!!  YOU ARE HAVING YOUR
MIND AND VOICE SUCKED OUT OF YOU!  DO YOU EVEN INTERACT WITH PEOPLE
ANYMORE?  BE CAREFUL, STOPPING COLD TURKEY CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS.
SERIOUS WITHDRAWALS CAN OCCUR, LEAVING A PERSON TWITCHING, AND TYPING
INTO THIN AIR, SENSELESSLY MUMBLING ADDRESSES AND PASSWORDS THAT HAVE
TO BE CHANGED.  PLEASE GO SEE SOMEONE ABOUT THIS PROBLEM.  ADDICTION
TO THE INTERNET IS SERIOUS AND CAN BE AS THREATENING AS ALCOHOL OR
DRUG ADDICTION.  IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS AN INTERNET DEPENDENCY
PLEASE CONTACT SOME PROFESSIONALS ON EMAIL:
 
WE'REALLFUCKEDUP@INTERNET.ISBAD.ANDWENEED.2GETALIFE
 
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