IJMC - Dr. Seuss Does OJ

Extra! Extra! Torrid affair between OJ and Seuss proclaimed reason for 
murder! Maybe not. Perhaps instead, it was caused because OJ's wife knew 
that Win95 was all a conspiracy of Microshaft's...maybe I'm a little 
warped after attempting to install Win95 tonight. Maybe I agree with the 
following statement. Maybe some bad mixamarole of Dr. Seussesque follows 
that. Maybe Win95 will have a good day tomorrow and will install.  -dave



Being a sold out Windows 95 user I have come to terms with both loving and
hating my PC system all at the same time! When Win 95 works it works great!
But when it doesn't work it does that great to! Running Windows 95 is kinda
like installing "mood swings" on your computer! Or giving it hormones! The
guys who thought this thing up weren't just building an operating system
they were making a desktop "wife!"

  --  Tom Russell, The Lpage Lounge, 1996


I would have to agree. Maybe being a bachelor isn't so bad. Hmm... -dave




  The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss
  
  
  I did not kill my lovely wife.
  I did not slash her with a knife.
  I did not bonk her on the head.
  I did not know that she was dead. 
  
  I stayed at home that fateful night.
  I took a cab, then took a flight.
  The bag I had was just for me.
  My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be! 
  
  When I came home, I had a gash.
  My hand was cut from broken glass.
  I cut my hand on broken glass.
  A broken glass did cause that gash. 
  
  My friend, he took me for a ride.
  All through LA, from side to side.
  From north to south, we took a ride.
  But from the cops we could not hide. 
  My trial lasted for a year.
  A year! A year! Just sitting here!
  
  The DNA, the HEM, the HAW!
  The circus-hype the viewers saw!
  A year! A year! Just sitting here! 
  And lawyers charge by the hour I fear!
  
  If I'm found guilty, I will appeal!
  Appeal! Appeal! I will appeal!
  I'll wheedle and whine. I'll cut a deal! 
  If it's "not guilty," so glad I'll feel!
  
  Did you do this awful crime?
  Did you do this anytime?
  I did not do this awful crime.
  I could not, would not, anytime.
  
  Did you take this person's life? 
  Did you do it with a knife?
  I did not do it with a knife.
  I did not, could not, kill my wife.
  I did not do this awful crime.
  I could not, would not, anytime. 
  
  Did you hit her from above.
  Did you drop this bloody glove? 
  I did not hit her from above.
  I cannot even wear that glove.
  
  I did not do it with a knife.
  I did not, could not, kill my wife.
  I did not do this awful crime.
  I could not, would not, anytime. 
  
  And now I'm free, I can return 
  To my house for which I yearn. 
  And to my family whom I love.
  Now could you please return my glove!!