IJMC - And Now, Dessert!

I would have to say this is one of the finest recipes I've ever had the 
privilege to post. I hope you all enjoy this one as much as I have, it 
makes the holiday baking (which I admit I missed) all the better. Now if 
only someone would adapt it to rum cakes...mmmmm.		   -dave




1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
1 cup dried fruit
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1/4 cup lemon juice
1 cup brown sugar
2 quarts whiskey
1 cup nuts

     Before you start, take a generous sample of the whiskey to ensure it is
of the finest fruitcake quality.  When you are thoroughly satisfied that it is
good enough, you may proceed.

     Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc.  Pour the whiskey into a
seperate bowl and allow it to mellow.  Properly mellowed whiskey causes no
burning pain as you swallow.  Check the whiskey again, as it must be exactly
the right flavor.  To ensure that it has properly mellowed, pour one level cup
and drink it in one gulp.  If the whiskey causes a "burning pain" as you
swallow, it needs a few more minutes to mellow.  Repeat every 15 minutes until
you feel no pain.

     With an exlectric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large, fluffy bowl. 
Add one tsp thugar and beat again.  Meanwhile, make sure that the whickey is
of the fines quality.  Cry another thup.  Open second quart if necessary at
this point.  Add two arge leggs, two cups fried druti and shbeat until high. 
If druit gets stuck in the shbeaters, just pry it loose whit a drewscriver. 
Then sample whithkey again, checking for consciesticity.  Shift in three cups
of salt, sugar, flour, or anything white, it doesn't matter at this point.

     Sample chickey again, sure is good isn't it?  Sift in 1 cup of lemon
juice.  Mold in bopped butter and strained nuts.  To the mixture add one
bobblespoon of brown thugar, or whatever color you can still find, mix well. 
Grease the oven and turn the pan 350#161#.  Beat the pan to fluffy texture. 
Pour the mixture into the oven, tinkle one tsp shiskey over the top of the
oven.  Drink the rest of the whicey as it is not to keep well for too very
long at one time.  Bake for one hour, or until the whicey catches friar, or
you wake up.  It is best to take a nap until the brute cakeh is done.