IJMC - Halloween Tips

Ok, so this post may be a tad bit pointless at this point since if you 
are reading it then you survived Halloween, therefore proving you don't 
need it...this year. Of course if you did need it, you're no longer with 
us and it's too late. Oh well, the bad guys have to slaughter a few poor 
innocents or else there's no fun! 				   -dave



Halloween Tips:

  * Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

  * Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

  * When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check
    to see if it's really dead.

  * If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was
    once a church that was used for black masses, had previous
    inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some
    horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or
    satanic practices in your house move away immediately.

  * If your friends speak to you in Latin or any other language that
    they do not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is
    other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a
    lot of grief in the long run.  NOTE: It will probably take
    several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

  * When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off or go it alone.

  * As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

  * Never stand in, on, above, below, beside,or anywhere near a grave,
    tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other house of the dead.

  * If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out
    that "it's just the cat," leave the room immediately if you value your
    life.

  * If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

  * Do not take *anything* from the dead.

  * If you find a town that looks deserted, it's probably for a reason.
    Take the hint and stay away.

  * Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know
    what you are doing.

  * If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down
    at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion.  Also
    note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster
    is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch
    up with you.

  * If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
    behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes,
    increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as
    possible.

  * Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
    listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help
    you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small
    town in Maine.

  * If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby
    deserted-looking house to phone for help.

  * Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns,
    hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane
    torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased
    companions.