IJMC Died the Roots Black

                    IJMC - Died the Roots Black

Some nights, lying back with a slice of pizza and Bond on the screen
defines my idea of heaven. Some air conditioning and a cup of coffee just
tops off the night. Mmmm...cannot last forever, so off I am to curl up
peacefully under a few blankets and a flannel comforter. Works for me, and
tonight is just a Tuesday. Canna wait for the weekend!

Unfortunately last night's post was not attributed when I received it. The
post was an excerpt from an article by local Atlanta musician Bill
Anschell, and he's on a mission to see that his name gets re-attached to
it. Consider this my part in aiding that re-attachment.              -dave

These from Leslye Kahn, Production Manager of Stage Door Players, a
Georgia Community Theater

 You know you work in non-profit theatre if...

  ....your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.

  ....you have your own secret family recipe for stage blood.

  .....Everyone on staff has worked on more than 3 other
  shows with you over the last 2 seasons and not 1 of
  them know each other.

  ....you've ever appeared on stage wearing your own clothes.

  .....You've ever driven around the back of stores
  looking for discards that can be used for set pieces.

  ....you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn't
  seen the light of day in ten years, but you don't
  know where your own vacuum cleaner is.

  ....you've ever appeared in or worked on any show
  written by Van Zandt and Milmore.

  ....you have a Frequent Shopper Card at the
  Salvation Army.

  .....Rogers and Hamerstiens is synomous with 3
  months of rehearsals.

  ....you start buying your work clothes at Goodwill
  so you can buy your costumes at the mall.

  .....You've ever taken time off your job to work on the show.

  .....You've worked your vacation time to coincide with techweek.

  ....you've ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.

  .... your're family is more than 50% of the staff

  ....you've ever appeared on stage in an outfit held
  together with hot glue or duct tape

  ....you name your son Samuel and tell him that his
  middle name is in honor of the French side of the family.

  ....you've ever appeared in a show where tech week
  is devoted to getting the running time under four and a
  half hours.

  ....you've ever appeared on stage in an English
  drawing room murder mystery where half the cast
  spoke with southern accents.

  ....you think Neil Simon is a misunderstood genius.

  ....you've ever appeared in a show where the cast
  outnumbered the audience 2 to 1 .

  ....you've ever gotten a part because you were the
  only one who showed up for auditions.

  .....you've ever gotten a part because you were the
  only Male who showed up for auditions.

  ....the audience recognizes you the minute you walk
  on stage because they saw you taking out the trash
  before the show.

  ....you've ever menaced/threatened anyone with a gun
  held together with electrical tape.

  ....you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between
  scenes wearing an evening gown and heels.

  ....you've ever had to haul a sofa off stage between
  scenes wearing an evening gown and heels -- and
  you're a guy.

  ....you've ever played the father of someone your father's age.

  .....your kids know your rehearsal schedule better
  than you do.

  ....your kids know your lines better than you do.

  ....your kids deliver your lines better than you do.

  ....you get home from rehearsal and have to go back
  to the theatre because you forgot your kids.

  ....you've ever appeared in a show where an actor
  leaned out through a window without opening it first.

  ....You actually know the difference between Good
  Shakespeare and BAD Shakespeare, and have tried to
  explain the difference.

  .....you've ever had to play a drunk scene opposite
  someone who was really drunk.

  ....you've ever heard a director say "Try not to
  bump into the furniture" and mean it.

  .....the lead vocalist complains that the music
  keeps changeing tempos, but the fact is the music is on a

  ....you've ever appeared on stage with people you're related to.

  ....you've ever heard the head of the set
  construction crew say "Just paint it black -- no one will ever
  see it."

  ....you've appeared in a show featuring a flushing
  toilet sound effect.

  ....the set designer has ever told you not to walk
  on the left half of the stage because the floor's still
  wet -- five minutes before curtain.

  ....you've ever been told that the reason your
  director has no eyebrows is because he/she handled
  special effects for the last show.

  ....you've ever said "Don't worry -- use the duct
  tape and if that doesn't work we'll just hot glue it."

  .....if you have the deep need to forward this to
  more than 5 people who would TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THIS.

IJMC June 2001 Archives