IJMC Archives

July 2001
           IJMC - That is the Third Raise Requested this Week

Sometimes when you have seen and almost enjoyed the last half or half hour
of a movie, you can make a large mistake by deciding to see it again just
to see how it started. Kind of like walking into a conversation
mid-stream. Often you enjoy more the part you catch without knowing how it
started. Oh well. On another topic, you might enjoy the following website,
http://www.engrish.com/ although I am quite tempted to create a spoof of
it with humorous English marketing names or mis-spellings. Cause I think
American and British mistakes are far funnier than poor translations into
English. Of course, that is just my opinion.                         -dave

I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

-I do physical labor.

-I work at great depths.

-I plunge head first into everything I do.

-I do not get weekends off or public holidays.

-I work in a damp environment.

-I don't get paid overtime.

-I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

-I work in high temperatures.

-My work exposes me to contagious disease.

Thank you for considering my request.

The Penis 

In Response:

Dear Mr. Penis, 

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have
raised,the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

-You do not work 8 hours straight.  

-You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.

-You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

-You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.

-You do not take initiative 

-You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

-You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

-You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective gear.

-It's doubtful you'll work until the normal retirement age of 65.

-You're unable to work double shifts

-You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the
day's work.

-And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and
leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.


The Management

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