IJMC Archives

July 2001
                  IJMC - The Master of the Irish Toast                     

Mmm. Toast. T. O. A. S. T. With butter and jam. Mighty tasty. Almost as
good as rum raisin ice cream, but not quite. No seriousness tonight folks,
or at least not a whole lot. I did want to throw in another URL similar to
last night's post, referred to me by one of the long time subscribers...


I guess the text there is kinda serious. But I have had all the serious I
can take for one night and I will not take any more!                 -dave

Irish Toast Masters

John O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters Club and one evening
at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was held to see who
could deliver the best toast.

Well, John O'Riley won the contest for the best toast of the evening,
"Here's To The Best Years o'Me Life, Spent Between The Legs o'Me Wife."

When John O'Riley arrived home his beautiful wife asked him how the Toast
Masters meeting went and he said, "I won the contest for the best toast of
the evening."

His wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said, "Here's To The
Best Years o'me Life, Spent in Church wi' me Wife."

His wife then said, "Why John, that's so nice of you to include me in your

The next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and ran into the
local policeman on the beat who was also at the Toast Masters meeting with
John O'Riley.

He said, "Hello Mrs. O'Riley, that was some great toast that your husband
John gave at the Toast Masters meeting last evening. He won first prize."

"Yes, that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he wasn't quite honest with
the facts: he's only been there twice, the first time he fell asleep and
the second time I had to pull him out by the ears."

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