IJMC How to Shower Like a Woman

                    IJMC - How to Shower Like a Woman

One of my old rules is to not send things out if I have seen them three
times already in a short period. Well, I have only seen this part twice in
the last few days...so I guess I shall not send it again when I get it
back from myself. Make sense? Ahh well...time to get back to my further
research on this subject. I may be sending out the report, but I think
this topic needs much further observation...                         -dave

How to shower like a woman...

=A0  1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper accordin=
g to lights and dark.
=A0  2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.If you see your husband=
 along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
=A0  3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note-mus=
t do more sit-ups.
=A0  4. Get in the shower.Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah=
, wide loofah and pumice stone.
=A0  5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with added vitam=
=A0  6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
=A0  7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with =
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
=A0  8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes un=
til red.
 =A0 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
=A0 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come=
=A0 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to =
get it waxed instead.
=A0 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you lose the=
 water pressure.
=A0 13. Turn off the shower.
=A0 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold with Tilex.
=A0 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap=
 hair in super absorbent second towel.
=A0 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
=A0 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
=A0 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas a=
nd then sashay to bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.

IJMC February 2001 Archives