IJMC Archives

August 2001
                        IJMC - Morons Exist

The first one of these reminded me of a couple stories I read over the
last few weeks. Basically stuff where the executives of a failing company
(such as Rhythms and Lucent) are paid millions in severance or retention
fees...basically, the company is going bankrupt but the people who lead
the company to failure are paid handsomely. I could deal with a job like
that...                                                            -dave

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?!

AT&T fired their president, John Walter, after nine months, saying he
lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a $3.8 million severance
package. Perhaps it's not the Mr. Walter who's lacking intelligence...

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear
gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them,
shouting to please come out and give himself up...

An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced
him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper
then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts...

A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under
his elementary school's drug policy last week - for a mint! The boy
allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."
Also, a student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for
giving a classmate a cough drop. The school principal reiterated the
school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with the
"zero-intelligence" policy...

A man in Taormina, Italy was hospitalized after swallowing 46 teaspoons, 2
cigarette lighters, and a pair of salad tongs.

A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas convenience store and asked for all
the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he
tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours
until police showed up and grabbed him.

And on the 8th day God said, =B3Okay Murphy, you take over...=B2

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