IJMC - Redneck Haiku

Sitting in an internet cafe in Geneva, Switzerland, sending out redneck
haiku sent to me from an Alabamian. Works for me. I did see the United
Nations today, however, no one seemed to recognize me as the grand
ambassador. Allow me to say I was rather dissapointed and may have to add
the U.N. to my distribution list so that next time they can be better
prepared. Tomorrow I will be leaving Geneva...although I do not yet know
where I will go. So many choices and only a few more travel days left! My
last few days will be spent in France, most likely either Paris or Tours,
as my train pass runs out a week from tomorrow but my flight is not until
a week on Tuesday! Ahh, travel is good.                             -dave





  Redneck haiku

  BEAUTY
  Naked in repose
  Silvery silhouette girls
  Adorn my mudflaps

  REMORSE
  A painful sadness
  Can't fit big screen TV through
  Double-wide's front door

  OPTIONS
  Unemployment's out.
  Hey, maybe I can get on
  Disability

  MOTHER AND CHILD
  Crusted in boogers,
  Stained with Kool-Aid, baby has face
  Only Mama loves

  BLAZE
  Distant siren screams
  Dumb-ass Verne's been playing with
  Gasoline again

  A NEW MOON
  Flashlights pierce darkness
  No nightcrawlers to be found
  Guess we'll gig some frogs

  EXUBERANCE
  Joyous, playful, bright
  Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
  Of old motor oil

  ALONE
  Seeking solitude
  Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
  Restraining order

  DESIRE
  Damn, in that tube-top
  You make me almost forget
  That you are my cousin

  HATRED
  I curse the rainbow
  Emblazoned upon his hood
  Gall dern Jeff Gordon

  OFFERINGS
  Tonight we hunger
  Grandma sent grocery money
  To Robert Tilton

  DRAMA
  Set the VCR
  Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
  At 9 O'Clock

  DEPRIVED
  In WalMart toy aisle
  Wailing boy wants wrestling doll
  Mama whups his ass

  NO SIGNAL
  White noise, buzzing static
  Call Earl; satellite dish
  needs new descrambler

  IMPOUNDED
  Sixty-five dollars
  And cyclone fence keeps me from
  My El Camino

  GATHERING
  In early morning mist
  Mama searches Circle K for
  Moon Pies and Red Man

  PRIDE
  Grinning, he displays
  The nine hundred beer cans
  Filling pickup bed