IJMC - What Do You Drink

I probably should not even bother saying anything other than according to 
this I am a really gay man. Hmm...you are what you drink?           -dave









Seven bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based
on what she drinks.  Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost
all counts:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Your Approach: You won't have to approach her.  She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had four more years... Alzheimer's
and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin
Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no
clue.
Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots
Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk... and
naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.


Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with us guys is, as always,
very simple and clear cut.


Domestic Beer:
He's poor and wants to get laid.

Good Beer:
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine:
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help
him get laid.

Whiskey:
He doesn't give two shits about anything but getting laid.

Tequila:
Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin:
He's gay.

White Russian:
He's really gay.