IJMC - Because I am a Man

So why do they no longer make movies like "Grease"? When was the last 
time you saw a movie that make you think, "Hey, I bet I will see high 
school drama clubs performing this one next year!" How about a movie that 
both you and kids could enjoy? First one to say Star Wars Episode I will 
be shot, by the way. I mean it though, what happenned? Did we all "grow 
up" and decide that we like senseless violence, adult themes, 
backstabbing, and other "real life" issues in our movies? I seem to find 
that nowadays I am crabbier than usual and enjoy cartoons or kid's films 
better than the stuff "targeted" at my age group. Well, enough griping 
(freudian type...I kept hitting an "o" for that first "i"), you would 
probably read what is below tonight.                               -dave

P.S. Why does tonight's post sound like something Denis Leary would say?




Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road
service until long after hypothermia has set in. 


Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the
hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another
man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix
these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't
know where to start." We will then drink beer. 


Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and
take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I
do, so for you this isn't an issue. 


Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the
store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like
"Cumin" or "Tofu" or "Cardamom." For all I know these are all the same
thing. 


Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist
on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as
much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together


Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator). 


Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't
think we should stop and ask someone.  Why would you listen to a
complete stranger-- I mean, how could he know where we're going? 


Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother
come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more
than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't
need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom, too! 


Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances
are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't. 


Because I'm a man, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen
or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time
about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same
day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave.
Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating. 


Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you
were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine.
Can we just go now? 


Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the 90's, I will share equally
in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the
cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest. 


This has been A public service message for women, to better understand the
Male animal. 




Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.