IJMC - CCFCCP

Not quite the CCCP coming back to haunt you, although I do miss having a 
good enemy in the world. Now the best we have is minor conflicts in 
countries that really, well, are kinda minor. Instead of one good fear of 
conflaguration, we now have hundreds of little troubles that remind us 
that few things are white or black. Which is a shame really, because lots 
of little troubles never get the attention they deserve, while one big 
one always gets more than it should. Not to mention, that in today's P.C. 
world we are no longer even allowed to pick on old enemies. We have to be 
nice to everyone while no one is nice to anyone. Oi, I think I am getting 
a headache from this train of thought. Someone sum it up for me...  -dave

  The Memo

  To: All EMS Personnel
  From: Chief of Operations
  Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

  It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many
  EMS narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately.
  Effective immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang
  and abbreviations to describe patients, such as the following.

  1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from  MUH
  (messed up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or
  HIBGIA (had it before, got it again).

  2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to
  use CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

  3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down,
  go boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly,
  descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases like
  "negative vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration

  4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

  5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are
  not considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

  6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."

  7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal
  intubation referred to as a "PVC Challenge."

  8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as being
  "paws up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas),
  CTD (circling the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long
  playing records).

  I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of
  our patients to include their medical orientations in creating
  proper narratives and log entries.

IJMC September 1999 Archives