From email@example.com Tue Sep 21 22:20:45 1999
Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1999 22:20:42 -0700 (PDT)
From: "David P. Thompson" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: The UU version of Genesis (fwd)
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
IJMC - The Unitarian Universalist Version of Genesis
There is a lot I could say here. A lot that would tell you things that
many of you do not know. A lot of things I think I am going to keep quiet
about at this time. So why did I say any of this? I dunno, I like being a
bit mysterious and a tease at times...dangle the carrot and see who
bites. Probably no one...which in this case, is fine. I think I also do
not want to write what is on my mind tonight...which is not much fun, and
I have been a bit of a downer recently. So, bucker up, enjoy a Jamoca
shake like I did earlier, and have a good night. Tomorrow is a better
In the Beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. The Earth was
without form and void, so God created a small committee. God carefully
balanced the committee viv-a-vis race, sex, ethnic origin, and economic
status in order to interface pluralism with the holistic concept of
self-determinism according to judicatory guidelines. Even God was
impressed. So ended the first day.
And God said, "Let the committee draw up a mission statement." And behold,
the committee decided to prioritize and strategize. And God called the
process empowerment. And God thought it sounded pretty good. And evening
and morning were the second day.
And God said, "Let the committee determine goals and objectives and engage
in long-range planning." Unfortunately, a debate as to the semantic
diffference between the goals and objectives preempted almost all of the
third day. Although the question was never satisfactorily resolved, God
thought the process was constructive. And evening and morning were the
And God said, "Let there be a retreat in which the committee can envision
functional organization and engage in planning by objectives." The
committee considered adjustment of priorities and consequent alternatives
to program direction. And God saw that this was good. And God thought it
was even worth all the donuts and coffee He had to supply. And so ended
the fourth day.
And God said,"Let the program implemented be consistent with long-range
planning and strategy." The comittee considered guidelines and linkages
and structural sensitivities and alternatives and implementational models.
And God saw that this was very democratic. And so would have ended the
fifth day, except for the unintentional renewl of the debate about the
differences between "goals" and "objectives".
On the sixth day the committee agreed on criteria for judicatory
assessment and evaluation. This wasn't the agenda God had planned. He
wasn't able to attend the meeting, however, because He had taken the
afternoon off to create day and night, and seas and plants and trees, and
seasons and years, and sun and moon, and birds and fish and animals and
On the seventh day, God rested and the committee submitted its
recommendations. it turned out that the recommended form for things was
nearly identical to the way God had already created them, so the committee
passed a resolution commending God foir his implementation according to
the guidelines. There was, however, some opinion expressed quietly that
man should have been created in the committee's image.
And God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the committee....