IJMC - My Hometown, Atlanta, For the Rest of You
Ok, so several subscribers also live in this town...so this is not quite
for everyone. Those who live here should be able to read and weep. -dave
A Translation of Atlanta for Visitors....
1. Atlanta is comprised entirely of one way streets. The only way to get
out of downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach
Greenville, South Carolina.
2. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree..."
3. Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end.
4. Atlanta is home of Coca Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask
for any other soft drink.
5. Atlantans only know their way home and their way to work.
6. Gate One at the Airport is 32 miles away from the Main Concourse.
7. It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you
started on. The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive".
8. The 8 a.m. rush hour is from 6:30 to 9:30 a.m. The 5:00 p.m. rush
hour is from 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday
9. Reversible Lanes are not understood by anybody.
10. "Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a
remote possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are.
11. "Sugar" is a more common form of address than "Miss". So is "Honey".
12. Ponce de Leon Avenue can only be pronounced by a native, so do not
attempt the Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to
the right and stare at you.
13. The falling of one rain drop causes all traffic to immediately cease;
so will daylight savings time and a girl applying eye shadow across the
street, or a flat tire three lanes over.
14. If you're standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected
to get on and go somewhere.
15. Atlanta is pronounced "Lan-A".
16. Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life, and a permanent
form of entertainment.
17. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close
down all lanes except one during rush hour.
18. Atlanta's traffic is the friendliest around. The commuters spend
hours mingling with each other twice a day. In fact, Atlanta's traffic is
rated number 1 in the country. You will often see people parked beside
the road and engaged in lively discussions.
19. Atlantans are very proud of our race track, known as Road Atlanta. It
winds throughout the city on the Interstates, hence its name.