IJMC Ahh, the Skillful Communicator (fwd)

Subject: Fw: Re: IJMC - Ahh, the Skillful Communicator (fwd)
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                   IJMC - A Healthy Dose of Sarcasm

Ok, I thought I was cynical. Maybe not the master, maybe not even an Earl 
of Cynicism, but I have often considered myself rather more cynical than 
most. Tonight, I defer wholly to Mom. Not my mom, mind you, but a long 
time subscriber who answered last night's blurb. I lose...or I did once I 
picked myself back off the floor and got over the spasms my stomach was 
going through from laughing too hard. If you enjoy, good. If you do not 
enjoy, uhm, well, I suspect you dislike sarcasm.                    -dave

   Here's what you do.  Get a tape recorder for your car.  Next time you
see a criminal driver, get the license number and give a brief description
of him/her into the mimic machine.  Speak clearly so you can understand
yourself later and make more sense in court.  Now, after you are safely at
home start writing down those numbers and descriptions.  If you do not
have nice handwriting please use the computer as neatness will be a factor
in the outcome of this venture.  Take a day off from everything you hold
dear--school, work, love, food, etc.  Go to the county clerk's office with
the recorder and transcripts.  Also, take a big wad of money.  Tell the
clerk of the county courts that you want to file a traffic violation
report on each person on your list.  I don't know about GA, but here in
Florida (land of Floyd) it costs $17.00 for each report.  The clerk will
file the reports and notice the drivers to appear in court.  Pray you have
a cordial clerk who got just what they wanted from their mate the night
before and ask that they schedule each court appearance on the same day in
the same court room.  By this time you should be feeling much better about
the criminal justice system we so fondly call "the best in the world." 
Ask the kindly clerk to please notice you to appear when the case comes up
as you are the only witness and without your testimony these menaces will
undoubtedly be free to drive again. 

   Go home now and relax and go on with your life for about two weeks.  At
this time you should start getting little invitations from the court to
host the party for each of your subjects.  As each arrives be sure you
clear your calendar for the entire day of the hearing because you can
never tell who will be called on first.  There may be many others like you
there to help make the streets safe for the law abiding citizens so much
dependant on you.  Explain to the judge in each case what happened.  It is
good that you can cite statutes because that impresses the guy in the big
seat.  Make a positive ID of each defendant and do not be swayed in this. 
If you seem at all unsure it can blow the entire case and they will
walk--or drive--away without so much as a slap on the lead foot.  You will
be victorious in some cases and somewhat less than that in others, but
rest assured that I am behind you as are many others who lack your courage
and prefer to let others fight the good fight while they bask in the
sunlight you have unblocked. 

Or........................You could just shoot the bastards.


IJMC September 1999 Archives