IJMC Idiots on Patrol

                     IJMC - Idiots on Patrol

As tonight is Friday night for me, I am thinking back upon the week I 
have just passed. I realize that I am quite pleased with what I have 
accomplished this week. I still have much to do, but I continue to 
strenthen the foundation upon which my life currently revolves. All I can 
ask myself for is progress and within that constraint, well, I am quite 
pleased this week...now if only I can remember that little number next 
Tuesday...I forgot it this week, and it was decent!                 -dave

Sighting #1

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" 
I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and
nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask." 

Sighting #2:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she
asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.  I explained that it signals to
blind people when the light is red.  She responded, appalled, "What on
earth are blind people doing driving?" 

Sighting #3:

At a goodbye lunch for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the
company due to "rightsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "This is fun. 
We should have lunch like this more often."  Not another word was spoken. 
We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an
approaching truck. 

Sighting #4:

I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn

Sighting #5 (a rare "double sighting"):

A friend had a brilliant idea for saving disk space.  He thought if he put
all his Microsoft Word documents into a tiny font they'd take up less
room.  When he told me I was with another friend.  She thought it was a
good idea too. 

Sighting #6 (from Tech Support):

Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"
Individual:  "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet,
and she downloaded ten hours of free space.  Is that enough?"

Sighting #7 (from Tech Support):

Individual:  Now what do I do?
Tech Support: What is the prompt on the screen?
Individual:  It's asking for "Enter Your Last Name."
Tech Support: Okay, so type in your last name.
Individual:  How do you spell that?

Sighting #8 Auto Mechanic:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We
went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," I
announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young
man.  "I already got that side

IJMC September 1999 Archives