IJMC The Titanic Return of the Deluge

                IJMC - The Titanic Return of the Deluge

Ok, so post saying that Star Wars is better than Titanic is a little out 
of date...however, at least this way I do not think I can be spoiling 
either movie for anyone...and this is a comparison of the old Star Wars, 
not the newer Episode I. If someone wants to update it accordingly, feel 
free and send it along!                                            -dave

Reasons why Star Wars is better than Titanic--

Titanic's big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive. 

Star Wars has WAY cooler action figure potential. 

Yoda could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water. 

Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedimaterial; Rose
is just marriage bait. 

Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage. 

When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge can't say "Look at the size of that
thing!" and really mean it. 

It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a raving madman
with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun. 

Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as sympathetic
characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyedamphibians to

Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship. 

We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and treats his
fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he
strangles people and blows up planets for fun. 

Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing? 

Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hutt. 

Two words: John Williams. 

There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars. 

Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world"? 

If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would
use the Force to get the key. 

"I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same sting
as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie." 

Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament. Leo simply

We knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated "Luke... I
am your father"? 

Han Solo would've missed the dang iceberg! 


IJMC September 1999 Archives