IJMC Reintarnation

                       IJMC - Reintarnation

Ahh, the joys of an overflowing mailbox. Scarce minutes have passed since 
I sent out the first of the "time to catch up on posts since I was out 
of town" emails an the bounces already return. The joys of the internet. 
You can be rejected in seconds flat! You too can know the pain, the 
anguish of having hundreds fo emails bounce back into your account. Of 
course the reasons they bounce are endless...they killed their account, 
they spamlisted me (me, a spammer? Never!), their domain died, someone 
forgot to water the mail server, whatever. Addresses go away. I hope you 
never go away. I like you. You do not bounce...                     -dave

reincarnation -  rebirth of a soul into a new human body or
reintarnation -  rebirth as a hillbilly

Rules of the South

1.  Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a
day. Let them cook something they know. 

2.  Don't laugh at folk's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Tammy,
MariBeth and Inez have been known to whip a man's ass for less than that. 

3.  Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda,this can lead to a
beating. Down here it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi. 

4.  Southern women don't fancy to smart mouth Yankees. Just remember, they
all have brothers and daddies. 

5.  Don't show allegiances to any other school in football other than a
SEC team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who play Wyoming every

6.  Don't call us a bunch of hillbillies. Most of us are better educated
than you and a whole lot nicer to boot. 

7.  Yes, we know the humidity is high; just quit bitching, spend your
money and go home. 

8.  No, the state symbol of Georgia is not the orange and white highway
barrel. This road construction is pissing us off too. 

9.  Don't go to the Cracker Barrel and order toast. If you do this
everyone will know you're from Ohio. Just eat the biscuits like God meant
for you to do. 

10. Don't try to talk with a southern accent if you don't have one.
Nothing makes us madder than a Southern wannabe. 

11. Don't be telling everybody how much better it was back home. If you
don't like it here, get your sorry ass backhome! 

12. We don't play lacrosse or none of them other sissy northern games, so
don't be asking about no scores, cause we just don't care. 

IJMC November 1999 Archives