IJMC - The Ethical Lawyer

Nowadays, in America, there are three people almost essential to a good 
life, yet almost impossible to find. An honest lawyer. A good mechanic. 
And a talented doctor who will outlive you. Scarily enough, I think I 
have an honest lawyer, my mechanic is top-notch, and I had the talented 
doctor...only he is retiring (which does not mean he will outlive me...). 
So close...and now I get to find a new doctor. I think the year 
two-thousand will be the year of many co-pays for me...I wonder if there 
is a such thing as a talented, attractive, young, female general 
practioner in Atlanta who is on my health plan and taking new patients. I 
ask for a miracle, you give me the F. B. I...or not...              -dave




A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his 
lawyer.  "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!"

"Well, It's ultimately in the judge's hand's," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if you sent the judge a box of cigars?"

"Oh no!" replied the lawyer.  "This judge is a stickler or ethical 
behavior.  A stunt like that would prejudice him against you.  He might 
even hold you in contempt of court.  In fact, you shouldn't even smile at 
the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the 
defendant.  As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, 
"Thanks for the tip about the cigars.  I'm sure we would have lost the 
case if you'd sent them."

"But I did send them.  That's how we won the case."

"What?" gasped his client. "I don't understand!"

He shrugged, "I also enclosed the plaintiff's business card."