IJMC You Will Learn to Hate Trends

                IJMC - You Will Learn to Hate Trends

I can almost be dangerous when I put together trends in these emails. I 
have lost the "picking on" trend with a lack of material...however, this 
one seems to just roll right off of the previous post. Soooo, if the last 
post made you want to retch, then skip this one. If you handled the last 
one, or worse, even enjoyed it (Matt, you still out there?), then read on 
and enjoy...I am outta here...time to delve back into setting up all the 
systems on my drive at once. I must be a glutton for punishment.    -dave

SPOOKY STORY - VERY BAD!! Read at your own risk!

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe; as it
happens, in Transylvania. 

They're driving a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It's late,
and raining very hard.  Bob can barely see 10 feet in front of the car. 

Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts to control the car,
but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a tree. 

Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog.  Dazed, he looks over
at the passenger seat and sees his new wife unconscious, with her head

Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to carry her
to the nearest phone. 

Bob carefully picks his wife up and begins trudging down the road. After a
short while, he sees a light. He heads towards the light, which is coming
from an old, large house. He approaches the door and knocks. 

A minute passes. A small, hunched man opens the door. Bob immediately
blurts, "Hello, my name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife, Betty.  We've
been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been seriously hurt.  Can I
please use your phone??" 

"I'm sorry," replies the hunchback, "but we don't have a phone. My master
is a doctor. Come in and I will get him." 

Bob brings his wife in. An elegant man comes down the stairs. "I'm afraid
my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor. 

I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I
have had basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring
them down to the laboratory." 

With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob
following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses
from exhaustion and his own injuries; so Igor places Bob on an adjoining

After a brief examination, Igor's master looks worried. "Things are
serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion." 

Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill
are no more. 

The Hills' deaths upsets Igor's master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the
steps to his conservatory, which houses his pipe organ. For it is here
that he has always found solace. He begins to play, and a stirring, almost
haunting melody fills the house. 

Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. As the music fills the
lab, his eyes catch movement. He notices the fingers on Betty Hill's hand
twitch. Stunned, he watches as Bob's arm begins to rise! He is further
amazed as Betty sits straight up! Unable to contain himself, he dashes up
the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master: 

(Don't page down unless you have a strong stomach...)

You sure you want to know?

O.K. You asked for it......

"Master, Master!... The Hills are alive with the sound of music!" 

IJMC November 1999 Archives