IJMC - Humor for a Bad Day

Times, they are a'changin. In a few hours, my current roommate will move 
back to his hometown and my sister will officially be my new roommate. 
Over the next week, we'll probably be able to straighten the apartment 
back up and life might actually return to something approximating 
normality. I might even have a few hours to read and reply to all the 
hundreds of emails I have waiting for me...                        -dave





Next time you think you're having a bad day...

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and
applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer
whale. 

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a
carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After
weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving
her mentally retarded. 

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world
flagpole sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours
short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had
left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off. 

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking
frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards
the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current
she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his
arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening to his
Walkman. 

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of
them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two
hapless protesters to death. 

And the capper... 

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it
was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. 

Here's hoping your day is better than any of "these"!