IJMC Fun Things to do While Driving

                 IJMC - Fun Things to do While Driving

No get your minds out of the gutter...that's illegal. Granted, since oh, 
about 99% of all drivers drive illegally, why should a simple law stop ya 
from doing what you want...ok, bad way to start off a weekend...in a bad 
mood. For some reason, my week has been sort of a string of loosly 
restrained bad moods. Maybe time to take another vacation, but it doesn't 
feel like it. Maybe just because I'm not actually taking any classes 
right now...I don't have enough filling my time. I ought to simply catch 
up on my email. With a two-month backlog that could fill my time. Or 
maybe I'll just sleep. Time shall tell. Take care.                  -dave


1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a 
look of fear, lock your doors. 4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more 
it looks like blood, the better.
6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when 
driving alone. 
7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at the red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window 
or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Fake a seizure at every stop sign.
13. Honk frequently at random.
14. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an 
obscene gesture. 
15. Ask people for Grey Poupon.
16. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
17. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
18. Restart your car at every stop light.
19. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, 
stroking them lovingly. 
20. Stop and collect roadkill.
21. Stop and pray to roadkill.

                                    daddygoth supreme

IJMC June 1999 Archives