IJMC - Hmm, Sounds Like Traffic
Here's one for everyone who likes to use the phrase "Information=20
Superhighway". Maybe I should send a copy to Al Gore...nahh, I don't need=
=20
the hassle of the Government watching me. There's too many keywords that=20
they'd notice and then look at...I don't need that. -dave
Some clueless FOOL talking about the =D2Information Superhighway.=D3 They d=
on=D5t
know JACK about the net. It=D5s NOTHING like a Superhighway. That=D5s a BAD
metaphor
Yeah, but suppose the metaphor ran in the OTHER direction. Suppose the
HIGHWAYS were like the NET.
All right! Severe Craziness.
A Highway HUNDREDS of lanes wide.
Most with potholes.
Privately operated bridges and overpasses.
No highway patrol. A couple of rent-a-cops on bicycles with broken whistle=
s.
500 member VIGILANTE POSSES with nuclear weapons. 237 ON RAMPS at every
intersection.
NO SIGNS.
Wanna get to Ensenada? Holler out the window to a passing truck and ask
directions.
AD HOC traffic laws.
Some lanes would VOTE to make use by a single-occupant-vehicle a CAPITAL
OFFENSE on Monday through Friday between 7:00 and 9:00. Other lanes would
just SHOOT you without a trial for talking on a car phone.
AOL would be a giant diesel-smoking BUS with hundreds of EBOLA victims and
a TOILET spewing out on the road behind it. Throwing DEAD WOMBATS and
rotten cabbage at other cars most of which have been ASSEMBLED AT HOME from
kits. Some are 2.5 horsepower LAWN MOWER ENGINES with a top speed of nine
miles an hour. Others burn NITROGLYCERINE and IDLE at 120.
No license tags. World War II BOMBER NOSE ART instead. terrifying paintings
of huge teeth or VAMPIRE EAGLES. Bumper mounted MACHINE GUNS. Flip somebody
the finger on this highway ad get a WHITE PHOSPHORUS GRENADE up your
tailpipe. Flatbed trucks with ANTI-AIRCRAFT MISSILE BATTERIES to shoot down
the KRUD traffic watch helicopter. A little kid on a tricycle with a
squirtgun filled with HYDROCHLORIC ACID.
NO OFFRAMPS.
Now THAT=D5S the way to run an Interstate Highway system. Unknown
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