IJMC - Cheap HMO, Cheap Schmoe

Bad day...well, it has been a good day, but a new game has been put into 
my hands that I know I am going to spend a lot of time playing. With 
classes having just started, this is a bad thing. Granted, it could be 
worse...we could be a month from finals. See, there is always a silver 
lining, you just have to look for it...                            -dave






SIGNS YOU'VE JOINED A CHEAP HMO...

You ask for Viagra. You get a Popsicle stick and duct tape. 

Exam room has a tip jar. 

You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the instrument tray just
before the anesthesia kicked in. 

The company logo features a hand squeezing a bleeding turnip. 

Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. 

Chief Surgeon graduated from University of Benihana. 

Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter
the trailer park," 

Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill
last month. 

24-hour pre-authorization line is 1-800-GUD-LUCK. 

Enema? The lavatory faucet swivels to face upward.