IJMC Can You Comprehend Engineers?

                IJMC - Can You Comprehend Engineers?

Blueberries and raspberries and strawberries and passion fruit, oh my! 
Nothing quite like a nice bouquet of fruit on top of cereal in the 
morning, I must say...I really must do this more often, the benefits are 
quite outstanding. Besides, the places such good living can lead to, 
well, I know that I like where it could go. Ain't double-speak great? 
Especially when hardly anyone knows what you're saying? Of course, does 
anyone ever know what I'm saying? <grin>                           -dave

   Comprehending Engineers - Take One

 Two engineering students were walking across campus when one
 said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

 The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking minding my own
 business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the
 bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said,

 "Take what you want."

 "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; The clothes
 probably wouldn't have fit."

   Comprehending Engineers - Take Two

 An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether
 it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.   The
 architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid
 foundation for an enduring relationship.

 The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the
 passion and mystery he found there.

 The engineer said, "I like both."


 Engineer: "Yeah.  If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each
 assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to
 the plant and get some work done."

   Comprehending Engineers - Take Three

 What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

 Mechanical Engineers build weapons,  Civil Engineers build targets.

   Comprehending Engineers - Take Four

 The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
 The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
 The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
 The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

   Comprehending Engineers - Take Five

 To the optimist, the glass is half full.
 To the pessimist, the glass is half- empty.
 To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

IJMC April 1999 Archives