IJMC The One Data Center

                      IJMC - The One Data Center

One data center, under dog...oh, sorry, you're here now. Nevermind, I'm 
not even sure where I was going with that. Something about lowfat 
chocolate milk that tastes like the real thing, but I'm still not sure. I 
just know it's dangerous, like you know, something that could kill us all 
in one big gulp. A title wave, washing titles down the tidal shores. Four 
score and seven years ago, I wasn't born yet, but I think I actually had 
an idea what I was saying. Or someone did. Maybe. Oh well. G'night. -dave


1. In the beginning there was the word; and there 
   were two bytes in the word; and nothing else existed. 

2. And God separated the One from the Zero; and he 
   saw it was good. 

3. And God said, "Let the Data be; And it happened." 

4. And God said, "Let the Data go to their proper places." And he 
   created floppy discs and hard discs and compact discs. 

5. And God said "Let the computers be so there would be a place to 
   put floppy discs and hard discs and compact discs. And God created 
   computers and called them hardware." 

6. And there was no Software yet. But God created 
   programs; small and big... And told them, "Go and multiply 
   yourselves and fill all the Memory." 

7. And God said, "I will create the Programmer; And the Programmer 
   will create new programs and govern the computers, programs and 

   And God created the Programmer; and put him at Data 
   Center; And God showed the Programmer the Catalog Tree and said, 
   "You can use all the volumes and subvolumes but DO NOT USE Windows." 

8. And God said, "It is not Good for the programmer to be alone." 
   He took a bone from the Programmer's body and created a creature that 
   would look up at the Programmer; and admire the Programmer; and love 
   the things the Programmer does; And God called the creature the User. 

   And the Programmer and the User were left under the naked DOS and it was 

9. But Bill was smarter than all the other creatures of God. And 
   Bill said to the User, "Did the God really tell you not to run any 
   And the User answered, "God told us that we can use every program 
   And every piece of Data but He told us not to run Windows or we will 

   And Bill said to the User, "How can you talk about something you did not 
   even try. At the moment you run Windows you will become equal to the
   God. You will be able to create anything you like by a simple click 
   of your mouse." 
   And the User saw that the fruits of the Windows were nicer and 
   easier to use. And the User saw that any knowledge was useless - the 
   Windows could replace it. 
   So the User installed the Windows on his computer; 
   and said to the Programmer that it was good. So the Programmer 
   installed the Windows on his computer. And it was good. 
   And the Programmer immediately started to look for new drivers. 

   And the God asked him, "What are you looking for?" 
   And the Programmer answered, "I am looking for new 
   drivers because I cannot find them in the DOS." 
   And God said, "Who told you need drivers? Did you run Windows?" 
   And the Programmer said, "It was Bill who told us to." 
   And God said to Bill - Because of what you did you will be hated 
   by all the creatures. And the User will always be unhappy with you. 
   And you will always sell him Windows 
   And God said to the User, "Because of what you did, the Windows 
   will disappoint you and destroy all your Resources; and you will 
   have to use lousy programs; and you will always rely on the Programmers 
   And God said to the Programmer, "Because you listened to the User you 
   will never be happy. All your programs will have errors and you will 
   have to fix them and fix them to the end of the time." 
   And God threw them out of the Data Center and locked the door and 
   secured it with a password. 

   General Protection Fault. 

IJMC April 1999 Archives